389 Cold Night

But he still remembers what he looked like when he first met her more than 20 years ago. My delicate figure and delicate smile. At that time, the green silk was like ink, like a mark drawn by a wolf in the bottom of his heart.

He knelt behind her and reached out to hold her in his arms.

"Shuhui, if there is an afterlife, I will definitely not fail you again."

The clear sound of the wooden fish was suddenly broken, and an invisible string was suddenly torn off.

Huang's body was stiff, and tears appeared in the corners of his eyes.

Xie Rong fell silently to tears on her back. He never forgot that he had only one wife in his life, and never forgot to love the wife he married with his own hands. But from the day he brought Cai Wei back, he and he couldn't go with her. He didn't bring her back because he liked Cai Wei, he just didn't want Get the power and honor you are about to get.

Huang pursues peace and tranquilance, and he is destined to face endless storms.

How much he wanted to live and die with her, but he couldn't do it. He didn't do everything he promised her. Prosperous and rich, children and grandchildren around their knees, stay together until old age, never abandon, he can't do it.

He let go of his hand, pulled two white hairs from her temples, carefully tied a concentric knot, put it into his arms, and stood up and walked out of the threshold.

The Buddhist hall was quiet again, and the Bodhisattva looked solemnly at the world on the Buddha's table.

Huang didn't look back or make a sound in the whole process, but her heart was broken again. It turned out that after so many years of practice, she was still in the world.

It takes only half an hour from Siye Hutong to Donghua Temple.

It's getting colder and colder, and there are no people in Donghua Temple.

Xie Rong led the horse and half lowered his head into the temple gate. The place on the note was in the backyard of the Daxiong Hall. He squinted into the backyard, except for the dazzling mist in the four-corner incense burner, no one.

He tied the horse to the lap of the incense burner and sat down on the stone steps under the porch.

The light suddenly lit up in the opposite room, and a man in a hat came out of it.

Xie Rong looked at her and never got up.

"The third uncle is coming."

Xie Wan walked down the stone steps and looked at him across the yard. I made an appointment with you, and the one you want to meet is Mr. Qi. Are you disappointed?

"I'm not disappointed." He shook his head, "I know it's you." He looked up and looked around, "If I guess correctly, the people of King Ammu's Mansion are now ambushed in the four halls, right? Do you know why I know that it's still a dead end, but I still want to come? He raised his lips and looked at her freely.

Xie Wan paused and took off his hat. "I really don't know about this floor. I would like to listen to the third uncle's solution.

"Because losing to you is my last guity." He looked ahead, and his voice was soft and calm. "So far, I, Xie Rong, have only two endings, one is to die under Mr. Qi, and the other is to die under your hands. You and I have been fighting for half a lifetime. If we can die in your hands, we will die in the right place. And as you can climb from a rural woman to the current princess, your ability is not humiliating to me.

"Third uncle is really flattered."

Xie Wan put his hat on the stone steps next to him, sat down and said, "The third uncle has been the pride of Xie's house since he was a child. I am deeply honored to be so praised by you. There is one thing you may never know. When I was very young, I was always proud to get your praise, because you are the pride of all of us, and even my father praised you.

"Is that right?" Xie Rong shook his head, "I never knew."

"Of course you won't know. At that time, you would only immerse yourself in your studies and test for fame. I can guarantee that you don't even remember what I looked like at that time. She laughed.

At that time, Xie Rong was a sign of teaching children to work hard in Xie's house. Not only did Xie Teng often warn Xie Lang, but also his mother Qi often praised her uncle in private at that time. Therefore, in the young Xie Wan's heart, Xie Rong is an idol, a symbol, and an inaccessible fairy-like figure.

But this is a matter of the previous life and childhood.

From the beginning of this life, Xie Rong has been an existence that she must pretend to fall down. It is the goal of her struggle in a period, her mind, and the premise of all choices. Objectively speaking, she also admires Xie Rong. His persistence, his judgment of the situation, and his unwillingness to give in, but it is because of all these characteristics that she has made her so hard all the way.

"Not only do I not remember you, but also the children other than Sister Wei and Brother Yun." Xie Rong said honestly, "But do you know why I work so hard? You must not know that all my goals and efforts are because of my low self-esteem.

"Inferiority complex?" Xie Wan turned his head and looked at him.

"Not bad." He nodded, stretched out Qu Jiu's legs forward, and then looked at the cold star in the sky and said, "You were born of your original son-law, an uncle from a scholar, a reasonable aunt, a kind and upright father, and a virtuous and gentle mother. In addition, your brother is your own brother, and you are destined to have With a strong family background, you can inherit it. You certainly have never felt inferior.

"But look at me, my family is a short-eyed rich man, my father is a famous miser, and what kind of mother is my mother? She is a remarried widow! And my brothers, one is an unsucated stepson. He is spoiled by his mother, and the other is a brother whose identity is better than mine. He also has grandmother's protection, and what can I be self-sufficient? There is not a single item.

"Going out, it sounds good on the face. I'm the third young master of Xie's house, and in private, I'm the remarriage of Widow Wang. I often can't raise my head. Why don't other people's mothers talk behind their backs, and my mother will? And why do other people's mothers love their children so much, while my mother only loves her eldest son?

"I often wonder if I'm not good enough, not cute, or not smart enough to make her neglect me so much? So I tried my best to be well-behaved and tried not to ask some seemingly childish questions. When I knew how much my father wanted to have a scholar at home, I deliberately looked through the book in front of him in front of my father before I was enlightened.

"I finally got his attention. He asked my husband to enlighten me and licensed me to read any books in his study, including the qualification to enter the library. These are all my rare honors, which greatly satisfy my vanity. But there is nothing more than that. My father still only cares about what books I read and never asks me what I want.

"At that time, I was not so capable. Sometimes I couldn't write well and recite, but I knew that if I didn't work hard, I would lose all these honors. I will become the remarriage of the despicable widow Wang in everyone's eyes, and I will never be as good as my eldest brother Xie Teng. So at night, after the Maternals turned off the lights and went out, I lit the lights to read and practice under the exit cupboard.

"Later, I finally achieved some success, and at the same time, I mastered some methods, and began to relax. Then I passed the exam again. I thought I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. My mother should be able to give me some care. Unexpectedly, when I went to tell her the news, she just smiled and asked me to send Xie Hong a bag of sugar fried pine nuts. She said that Xie Hong liked to eat it.

"And for the good news of my exam, she just said she knew."

"No one knows how much I hated myself at that time, and why I came to this world so awkwardly. For my mother, I no longer expect it, and I began to hate her. Because the nickname of Widow Wang's second marriage was given to me by her. And in her eyes, I'm not as good as Xie Hong, who was born to her ex-husband!

"I can only find a little comfort from my father. He praised me and sang a one-day play. Many people congratulated me, flattered me, and praised me. At this time, I found that I actually felt balanced in my heart. It turned out that reading and famous can bring me another kind of courage and confidence, which can make me straighten my waist and walk outside like a person.

"I began to devote myself to my academics like crazy. Later, I finally got what I wanted and became a scholar and official who glorified the family. I don't let people see my low self-esteem. I try to restrain myself, be calm and calm at all times, and I am not humble in front of anyone, but no matter how beautiful I am, I can't erase the fact that I am the son of a widow. I hate Wang more and more, but I can't kill her...

"My inferiority in childhood still penetrated into my blood like a poisonous snake. I'm afraid that others will know my past. I'm afraid that Wenwu will look down on me, and I'm even more afraid that I won't be able to become a noble scholar in the eyes of everyone. Sister Wan, do you know? The more inferior people are, the more they will find ways to hide their identity and shortcomings, and the more eager they are to be above everyone else.

"I am so eager to use my official position and power to hide my inner uneasiness and panic, and to hide such an unbearable background. I can only climb up hard. The higher I climb, the less I dare to laugh at me, and the more stable my heart will be, because this can prove that I am capable. I disdain to have anyone who cares about me, and I almost succeeded.

Xie Rong had tears on his face. In the empty temple backyard, there was Liao Liao's cold star on his head, surrounded by imminent buried soldiers, and beside him was an old enemy who had fought with each other for a lifetime. At this time, he was no longer dangerous, but like a lonely child standing in the wilderness. He had been lost and did

Xie Wan's eyes were also slightly sore.

Sometimes it's hard to say anything about kindness and resentment. In the previous life, Xie Rong did not do anything directly to them, but because of his indifference, his six relatives did not recognize him, which led to Wang's fearless cruel persecution of their brothers and sisters. If this life still follow the trajectory of the previous life, if she is not involved in the seizure of the throne, she will still not kill him, and she will Cut, put them on the soles of their feet in turn.

But the wheel of fate moves. She wants to kill him not for the hatred of the previous life, but for the struggle between the two parties in this life. Who let them get involved in this whirlpool, who makes them swear that they can't be two-way, and the things involved in the country are already ruthless. RS