Funny zero-point composition (not related to the content of the novel)

9:00 Beijing time, this is the site of the 2012 college entrance examination x examination site x examination site. First of all, thank the country and the government, thank you for giving us a prosperous environment for the people to live and work in peace, and thank you for giving me a warm, comfortable and clean college entrance examination environment, although I feel that I Like the fly on this window - the future is bright, but there is no way out. But I am still full of life, and I think it is not easy for me to sit in the examination room of this college entrance examination. Growing up, drinking third grandma's powder, nibbling dyed steamed buns, eating lean meat essence... Children who grow up really can't afford to be hurt! Do you have it!!!

At 10:00 Beijing time, I have made full preparations for this college entrance examination, burning incense on the first day of the lunar new year, praying on the 15th day, and mass at the end of the month. I haven't watched my favorite Japanese dramas for half a year, because my mother said, "If you watch too many Japanese dramas, your ancestors will not bless you", but there are three results: first, go to Peking University; second, if it really doesn't work, I don't mind Tsinghua University; third, start a business, go home to sell meat, the name of the store - 3D butcher shop, and then everyone will come to my store to take care of the business. Is it okay? Is it okay???

10:28 Beijing time, 1 hour and 28 minutes have passed quietly. According to my statistics, the beautiful teacher walked back and forth from me 18 times and stayed beside me for 65 seconds. According to visual measurements, the age is about 28, the height is about 166, and the weight is 98. The material is well-proportioned and good-looking. It can be said that it is beautiful, looks like a fairy, sinking fish and falling geese, closing the moon and shy flowers, which makes people feel relaxed and happy, dreamy, and thousands of thoughts! Teacher, you will be invigilated next year, and I will come to support you.

11:00 Beijing time, after the advertisement, I will come back immediately. There are more advertisements than those of Hunan Satellite TV. NND has been gone for more than half an hour. The revolution has not yet succeeded. Comrades still need to work hard to dry the haji and continue to answer the questions. At this time yesterday, my family was eating the leftover zongzi of last year and waiting to enjoy the moon. What about eating last year's zongzi for Shenma? Because my father said that last year's rice dumplings were fresher than those bought on the market, and the content of additives was relatively small. But it's a pity that it rained yesterday and the moon didn't come out until night. It's all caused by the moon. Everyone probably knows that eating rice dumplings on the Dragon Boat Festival is to commemorate Qu Yuan, but who knows that he chose to commit suicide by jumping into the river this year for Shenma, because the college entrance examination will be held the next day! This child is not good at mathematics and English, and he doesn't copy the comprehensive literature and science. It's not easy to get better at Chinese. When writing a composition, he wrote a composition of no less than 800 words, and the style is not limited (except poetry). Damn, I'm not alive. ** Nakedly jealous of the ** who write poems. In the future, in order to commemorate his special contribution to the college entrance examination, Qu's descendants will enjoy the bonus policy. And on this day, the whole country has a unified holiday. I don't think it's too much for such a great person to have a month off.

11:21 Beijing time, when it comes to eating rice dumplings in Wufangzhai, I have a lot of research. I have to eat rice dumplings with my wife, dip chopsticks in sauce, and eat rice dumplings with my lover. I have to use knives and forks. It's better to order Zhang Yu wine, light candles, and wait until the wine is full... (Considering underage readers, here is omitted N Word, you know the specific content). It is also Zongzi. Different people can eat different atmospheres with different tableware.

11:25 Beijing time, "Oh! There are 5 minutes left to hand in the paper!!! I haven't got 800 words yet, your sister! Who stipulated that you have to write 800 words? What should I do? What should I do??? So I checked the name and the admission ticket number on the answer card with a lightning speed, and checked it again. There were still 3 minutes left. After writing these and this sentence, it was almost done, haha! 800 is enough. In a minute, he quickly wrote a small note and stuffed it into the hands of the beautiful teacher. After reading the note, the teacher smiled at me.

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[Network Comprehensive-Beijing College Entrance Examination]

The love and truth of a railway patrolman

There is a small house and a small tree next to the railway in the mountains, which belongs to me.

The tree was planted by the two of us in the year. After that, she took the train and said she wanted to see the distance. Now that I can hide from the rain under the tree, I am still alone.

Many years later, my life has become a composition topic for the college entrance examination.

You laugh at me in your stomach, but you can only think about it this way and dare not write it, right? You will write about my selfless dedication and my greatness in the ordinary, I know. But I want to tell you the truth - typical people are by no means written like you!

Don't think that I haven't seen it in the mountains. The people you have met are calculated one by one. The people I have met are all calculated by one cart! I walk more than 20 kilometers along the railway every day. From winter to spring, I have never interrupted. The road I walk is longer than what you have walked combined!

I often talk to them.

Many years ago, there were several traffic accidents and landslides here. Later, I came. They also came.

At first, they didn't talk to me, but later they talked to me.

Some people say, Lao Ji, you live alone in the mountains. Are you lonely? - Loneliness? Actually, no.

Sometimes they come at night and sometimes during the day to chat with me.

I love trains, and one of my favorite things to do every day is to stand on high hills and raise my hand to pay tribute to the train. Then, I heard the best song in my life - the train sounded the whistle, which was the greatest praise for my hard work.

Workers are the most glorious.

At this moment, people all over the world are looking at me. I thought in my heart that one day, she would be on a train and see me standing here and see me waving to her.

Every day, day with sun and without sun, every night with moon and night without moon, I stand here to pay tribute to every train that comes. Wind, thunder, rain, snow, I'm always here.

I didn't drink.

I can hear the sound of snow falling in the deep mountains.

I want to tell her that the tree in the mountain has grown up.

It will also take root, germinate, bloom and bear fruit.

I have ideals.

It was not until one day that I saw a statue erected on the high hill where I usually stand.

Actually, I'm dead.

No wonder they came to talk to me.

One of them is said to be a poet. He told me that repeated labor itself can also create a kind of self-intoxicated poetry. It was because he could not find this poetry that he lay on the railway.

I have lived in poetry for decades.

People demolished my house and built a small station. The train is still going north and south, and people are still in a hurry.

Only that tree is green and yellow.

- Does it also understand poetry?

I cried.

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How did the scavenger come about

When I walked into the examination room, I saw a touching scene. A classmate was carried into the campus on a stretcher. You are more than Dong Cunrui and more yellow than Huang Jiguang. Your noble spirit of lifeless for the exam deeply infected me.

I decided to write a good essay. Let's discuss how scavengers came about.

When you are galloping on the football field, when you cheer in front of the TV, when you read the news of the Chinese team with the newspaper, when you (the following five omitted when you... Do you realize that you are living happily? When you answer yes, the plot of this article continues to develop.

As a nostalgic fan, I really don't like the boys in this European Cup. Messi is not mature yet. Oh, I'm sorry, Messi doesn't play in the European Cup. Every time Cristiano Ronaldo plays a free kick, he looks like a girl who is going to pounce on **. Van Persie will only shoot in the air, and Robben basically doesn't shoot within 10 meters. Walcourt cried to you if you didn't let him bring out the bottom line. Rooney's first sentence every time he played was "Judge, I practice boxing when I was a child." Balotelly? Has he learned to dress?

There is nothing we can do. Who let them still be children? They are still very ignorant of the world. They don't know how many bumpy there are in the world. They don't believe that they will give them our college entrance examination papers: "Who are the ancients who are busy on the Internet?" Whose daughter has been elected as the champion of Miss World in China?" Is wearing a condom **?" Who are the four famous fathers?" How did Han Han's height be calculated? Who can make one? I asked my godfather to give their team the European Cup championship. Who is my godfather? Platini Matsushita Konosuke.

Don't blame me for looking down on those children. Who let my prenatal education start from Euro 92? I kicked my mother's stomach. Han Qiaosheng imitated Song Shixiong at that time, but now he imitates Bean instead. On TV, Han Qiaosheng said in a crisp little allegro-like voice, "The Danes finally went to the banquet, but took away the last cake." I swear, this is the most talented sentence I have heard from him in the first half of my life, but it may also be reading the manuscript. That year, Basten lost a penalty and Borgkamp scored several. At that time, Germany also had a Mueller, but the Lauderup brothers were the best, Schmeichel? He played as a scavenger, because the defender gave up his position for fear of being shoveled by him.

But I hate the Danes, because they fought against Yugoslavia, and Yugoslavia was banned. Because the United States and Europeans bombed my embassy in the south, Yugoslavia later disintegrated, so the Soviet Union and Czechoslovakia also disinated. The president named Yugovic was arrested, which led to the later Sada. The matter of Mu, Gaddafi, Mubarak and Kim Sanshun. Yugoslavia played so well at that time, Add, my three * hands, this ban conspiracy made Yugoslavia's head coach Dumas heartbroken.

Scavenger! I remember, damn it. The composition I'm going to write today is how the scavenger came about. Fortunately, I found it early, otherwise I would have to deviate from the topic. Who is the scavenger? First of all, he is not Adolf. He is Nesta, Ferdinand, Cannavaro, Summer, Bergomi, Baresi, Beckenbauer. Terry is definitely not. He can only clean his brother's sheets.

According to FIFA, Beckenbauer was the first person in the world to play the position of scavenger. During the 1974 World Cup, he fought a blitz in a small tank left by World War II. When defending, he wiped out hidden dangers and ran wildly with the ball when attacking, so in the position of scavenger, the person surnamed Bei is the most Many, their family has monopolized, such as Belsa and Berberto.

But this is a lie, which is obviously a lie, just like the lie invented by Britain. China's Cuju is the earliest football in the world and a lie. The truth is more than 10,000 years ago, when our caveman went out hunting, he was kicked by a round stone. He was so angry that he The stone kicked violently, and as a result, this scene was painted on the stone wall of the cave by the tribe's graffiti enthusiasts, and that's how football was produced.

My God, the composition is about to be finished. Who has the leisure to talk about the origin of football? What I want to say is how the scavenger came about. This truth will be revealed by me. This story will make the world hold its breath.

The truth is: a patrolman is called Lao Ji. He is in the railway system. Lao Ji walks dozens of miles in the mountains every day to guard the railway, clean up gravel and prevent the boulder from slipping. Every time a train passes by, he will salute and the train will whistle to respond. Decades have passed, and the train has become a bullet train. The train has run dozens of miles away, but he still salutes to a place.

After this story spread, many people used him to inspire themselves. Some people said that they should do their job well like the old plan. Later, he became the chief. Some people said that they should run on the street every day like the old plan. Later, he became the president. Some people said that they should recite poems by looking at the starry sky every day like the old plan. Later He became the prime minister.

But really no one knows that the old plan to do that job is called a scavenger.

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2010 Beijing College Entrance Examination Zero Score Composition

"The teenager doesn't know the taste of sorrow, and he is forced to say sorrow in order to give new words." Today's propositional composition "Looking up at the starry sky" makes me a little strange. Since I established my life goal of the college entrance examination, I have rarely looked at the starry sky. I basically look at textbooks all my time. Teachers and adults have said that looking at the starry sky in a daze must be a loser in life or mentally ill. It has been said on the news in the past two days that there are more than 100 million mental patients in China, which is very scary. I don't want to fail in life or be mentally ill. I want to succeed in the college entrance examination.

But I understand the meaning of "looking up at the starry sky" in the title is that Premier Wen wants us to think about the meaning of life and set up life ideals and goals when looking up at the starry sky. But judges and teachers, please forgive me for being a student. I want to tell the truth. The air pollution is so serious now. Even if I have time to look at the sky in a daze and so many clouds in the sky, I can't see the stars and the moon. I can't see the far-reaching future. How do I think? How to produce ideals? I'm afraid I will disappoint Grandpa Wen and the judges.

I remember that when the air pollution was not serious and the starry sky was beautiful, our students could have many ideals. In the corrupt late Qing Dynasty, there was Kang Liang's "Book on the Bus" movement; in the era of the corrupt Beiyang government, there was the hot-blooded "May 4th Youth Movement" and in the era of the corrupt Kuomintang government, there were various "student patriotic rescue movements". These movements have the ideal of promoting democracy and freedom throughout it, inspiring the Chinese people. Ethnic group. However, more than 100 years later, these ideals have not been realized in China. It can be seen that the ideals are deceptive.

As for what our students can have after liberation, the teacher said that they don't need to learn, so I don't know. I only know that New China was established in 1949, and then what happened to the students in 59, 69, and 79. I heard that in today's prosperous China, we young students no longer need to have ideals.

If the success of the college entrance examination is also the biggest ideal of my life, don't deceive me into looking up at the starry sky. What I need to pass the college entrance examination is to immerse myself in my head and recite it. Is this a down-to-earth effort for my ideal? If passing the college entrance examination is just a life goal, not an ideal in life, can I set up one now? My ideal is to enter college smoothly and be admitted to the civil service smoothly after graduation. Then my biggest dream is not to arrange me to take out shit when I become a civil servant. For this ideal, I will study wholeheartedly, study down-to-earth, and never look up at the sky in a daze.

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This year's college entrance examination is the strictest year in history. It is said that Jiangsu Province's composition essay is also the most BT. Some people regard worry and love as sex and love, which has led to a great tragedy. So, how was this article written? Today, I will expose the full content of this zero-text composition for you

Sex and love

The deformity of human society leads to the suppression and suppression of sex, although in fact it is a set of practices behind the surface.

However, in general, love generally has sex, but not everyone will have it in a short time. The main obstacle is women, but it is not a problem for masters;

Sexually becomes love. Love is made. The working people in ancient China already know this truth: "Love over time"... Thomas believes that sex and love are two different things. Sex is light and love is heavy. Therefore, his attitude towards sex is extremely unruly.

Theresa can't separate sex and love. She loves Thomas and can't understand that Thomas loves her and has sex with other women. She was overwhelmed by the weight of her love. Sex is a physiological need, love is a psychological need, and there is no inevitable connection between the two. It is morality and culture that connect them. The latter two are inherently anti-natural. Therefore, people who can unify sex and love are lucky. Although most of them are so lucky only because of their ignorance.

Human love is not as romantic as imagined. It comes from human incompleteness. Nowadays, broad love contains too many things, some love because of the attraction of money and power, and some love because of the attraction of beauty and sexy. Some rely on loneliness and emptiness. Some love because of sympathy, and some combine because of common ideals... Sex is just one of the triggers. But love in a narrow sense is only caused by sex, and there is no essential difference from animals.

Just like what the siege says: "Where is love, it's just a reproductive impulse." But in this way, people feel a little low-level, so they add many seemingly beautiful fairy tales to show that love has a higher spiritual essence. But these are just self-deception.

From the perspective of society, love exists for reasonable**, and marriage exists for reasonable reproduction. Sex was originally for the reproduction of creatures. It is estimated that there was only sex in the primitive period. When human beings advanced to have feelings, they also have love. Sex does not necessarily have love, but love can lead to sex. Sex and love

Sex is not only a physiological need, but also a need to strengthen each other's feelings. Love needs to be repeated, and it needs to be old and new. Loveless sex is meaningless, and sexless love is unreliable. This is not a blasphemous love. Time proves that harmonious sex is very important for truly connecting men and women. High-quality sex is fate and creation, and the acquired efforts can also be slightly improved.

Like emotions, sexual matters are also deliberately unintentional. In a sense, sex is more realistic than love, because sex can deepen each other's feelings. The so-called 100-day grace of a husband and wife implies this meaning. Sex gives people a down-to-earth feeling, no longer illusory, no longer scattered flowers, and pure Platonic love is difficult to last. In essence, the most fundamental motivation for the union of men and women is because of sex, and feelings are only the second need. Of course, sexlessness can also have love, but itching through the boots, like two people who are not related to each other, there is always a kind of emotional glue that is estrangement and distance sensibility, which can make up for many emotional cracks and deepen the original cracks.

If two people are originally separated from each other and their sex is unsatisfactory, it will lead to a quick breakup. Sex is not the core of emotions, let alone all of them, but it is a catalyst for emotions, which will accelerate the pace of combination or abandonment. The moral requirements for sex vary from person to person. Some people are not eager for respect, as long as they feel happy.

If you want to keep a man, make him never satisfied; if you want to keep a woman, make her satisfied all the time. Men want to change their taste when they eat too much, and women will look for snacks if they don't have enough. Men think from the bottom up, and women think from top to bottom. The direction is different, but the ending is the same. A compassionate and understanding woman is the cutest and worthy of men's pursuit. The mean, selfish and arrogant woman is the least worthy of love. Similarly, responsible men are the most precious, and irresponsible men are inaccessible. Such men will walk away after tasting all the interests.

People don't agree on the standards of beauty. If you think you are beautiful, I may feel ordinary. I think it's beautiful. You may not feel good. This is the so-called Xi Shi in the eyes of lovers. What life needs most is not beauty, but comfort. Marriage is like shoes. Only when they fit can they be inseparable for a long time. Although the shoes with feet are beautiful, they are unbearable for a long time. So feelings can be a little idealistic, but marriage should not be like that. There are physiological differences and sexual disharmony, and it is difficult to grasp good feelings. This is not vulgarity, let alone low-level flow, but the true meaning of emotional harmony between husband and wife.

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: "Beijing House Price" of "Beijing Symbol"

I bought a real estate newspaper yesterday and looked through it quickly. My tongue didn't shrink back for a long time. House prices in Beijing have so up again. In a place like our company outside the Fourth Ring Road, if you want to have a smaller two-bedroom and one living room, it will cost 1 million yuan.

I have no idea about money. Fortunately, I prefer concrete thinking. Hurry up and calculate it. It's easier to remember.

If I were a farmer, it would be good to be alone with an acre of land. Plant twice a year, once wheat, once corn, and earn 800 yuan a year. In addition, raising a group of ducks and selling some duck eggs, it is estimated that you can earn 1,000 yuan at most. If I want to buy a decent house in the suburbs of Shanghai, I have to cultivate it for 1000 years. At that time, communism should be realized, right?

If I am a worker and have not been laid off, I will get 800 yuan a month, do not smoke, do not drink, do not get married, and do not eat. If you are thirsty, drink cold water, eat rotten vegetable leaves when you are hungry, and wear broken sacks when you are cold. In short, you don't spend a penny. If you want to buy such a house in advance before house prices rise, you have to work continuously for 100 years. I guess no factory needs such old workers.

If I am a civil servant, I am very ordinary, 2,500 yuan a month, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't eat, I don't embezzle, I don't take bribes, and I don't embezzle public funds. If I want to buy such a house (samely, house prices do not rise), I have to endure 33 years. It is estimated that he will have to retire as soon as he bought a house, and he is likely to die quickly due to malnutrition.

If I am a writer and get along well, I don't smoke, drink, eat, or hang out with literary young women. If I want to buy such a house (samely, the house price does not rise), I have to write 2000000 words in a row, and I have to ensure that someone wants the words. IF YOU CAN SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE 2,000 WORDS PER HOUR WITH CONTINUOUS conception, WRITING AND MODIFICATION, THEN YOU HAVE TO WRITE 1000 HOURS CONTINUOUSLY AND WRITE 2,000 PAGES ON THE WORD DOCUMENT. I understand why writers are prone to died. Suffocious.

If I am *, average-looking, with an average harvest of 200 yuan at a time, I don't smoke, don't drink, don't eat, don't have venereal diseases, and don't have a white face. If I want to buy such a house (similarly, the house price does not rise), I have to receive 5,000 guests in a row. If you receive two people every day (including statutory holidays), you will have to fight for 2,500 days in a row, which will take about 7 years.

If I am a robber, with average means and average eyes. Every time I grab 1,000 yuan, I don't smoke, don't drink, I don't eat, I don't look for women, and I won't get caught. If I want to buy such a house (similarly, the house price does not rise), I have to commit crimes 1000 times in a row. If I commit a crime once a week, then 18 consecutive years of crimes.

If I were a businessman, I would eat and drink, smoke, drink, eat, and have sexually transmitted diseases. As long as I have the ability to get a loan, when the house comes out, I will crackle the first payment and raise it with my accomplices. In less than two years, I will get a few houses.

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Ps: Jiabo felt that he was still looking at it, so he turned around. If you see the end, it means that we are still common, hehe!!!!