chapter 79 memory entangled age

"I wrote to him to learn to write small regular script with a brush instead of a pen. I won't put my name at the end of the letter, but I will write his name on the cover. Huatan is the best two words I have written in my life. If it weren't for his name, I don't think so. Most of the letters are very boring, mostly about some interesting things about my study abroad, and my experience of learning embroidery and wearing different cheongsams at home every day. At first, there were only one or two pieces of writing paper, and later it became more and more. At most, I wrote four pieces of writing paper densely. I don't know whether he read those drooling words or not. At that time, I was very concerned, and it didn't matter when I thought about it later, but now I really want to know. What I didn't think about was that one day I received a reply from him. That letter is still locked in my drawer, yellowed and wrinkled, my love, my memory, my everything. I died, and it burned with me so that I can still have it.

You can still have it until eternity.

Grandma, I have also received a lot of things. Why can't I save anything until I die? It's because they are all worthless. Even if I used to think it's valuable, it's priceless. As the years go by, it becomes a waste, which is not worth mentioning.

You know, my dying ex-boyfriend gave me more rags than he gave me love.

The love between him and his boyfriend is called strong, and the love is stronger than Jin Jian. I'm speechless.

"I'm an old woman who talks a lot. Don't blame the girl. If you want, you can listen. If you are busy, the blind woman doesn't know, but I will think you are always there. This story has been sealed for many years. When it is uncovered, it is inevitable to lift the dust covering it and be choked, which is not good for health.

The old lady still closed her eyes to the angle of the sun. I saw her hands tremble slightly, which was particularly eye-catching under the white clothes.

My heart throb, and holding her hand in my hand makes her really feel that I am here. I don't need her to be my real existence. I will hear her narrate the end of her years, accompany her to recall, and feel her love ending.

is happy.

I am like a dying cancer patient. Living a carefree life will no longer care about LV's new style. If you don't betray you, whether the person who betrays you has really loved you or not, you look down on everything and feel that it doesn't matter, because everything is coming to an end. Even if you care about it again, you don't have time.

Time, what an important thing. We always feel that we have a lot, but in the end it is usually not enough. We will sigh why there is not enough time, or time passes too fast, or in a hurry, or...

"He said, 'Miss Xia's, I have received all your letters, but the troupe has been doing a lot of chores recently, and I only took time to reply today. Please forgive me." When I saw this sentence, I threw the letter on the ground in a panic. Really, I was scared to death at that time. How could he know that it was the letter I wrote to him? I really... Ha ha... At that time, I don't know why I was particularly shy, as if something bad had been discovered. Seeing that the letter fell to the ground, he quickly swallowed his saliva, picked up the letter from the ground and finished reading it. His letter is not long, but he is all picking up important words. Unlike my nonsense, his handwriting is a little scribbled, and some words are too much. I don't understand it very well, and of course I won't ask who. This is an important secret in my 17-year-old heart. My 16-year-old Yu Ji and I are in the bottom of my heart. I thought that I would not come out of the water for the rest of my life, and there would be no second person to know that he had been with my imagination, getting old and passing away. He said at the end of the letter, 'You look really beautiful in a dress. I played in Li Mansion on the fifth day of the first lunar month. I hope you can come.' When I saw this sentence, I almost jumped around the house with the letter paper in my arms for a long time. I didn't stop until I felt tired.

The grandmother should be tired of talking too much, and her voice gradually subsided, as if she was about to fall asleep, maybe she had fallen asleep.

I rubbed the palm of her hand, leaned my head back like her, and closed my eyes. I feel that the sunlight has penetrated my thin eyelids and covered my whole pupils. I feel that my body is gradually warming up. Maybe the people around me have infected me.

My tears slipped from the corners of my eyes and did not drip on me. I don't know where they went. When the tears are dried by the air, the tears will be the same as never existed, without trace.

"Grandma, what happened later? Did you go there later?

As soon as my voice fell, a beautiful voice sounded behind us, with a little reproach in concern, "Ah, Grandma Xia, why are you here? Grandpa Hua was very anxious when he just delivered the food. Let's go back quickly. Grandpa stewed chicken soup today, and it's almost cold. Little sister, you and you are about to get up. Hurry up. Let's go back to the ward.

I sent the grandmother's hand away, helped her stand up, and saw a young nurse behind her, who was very gentle. I came to help my grandmother. They walked in front, and I slowly followed behind. Looking at the grandmother's towering back, my heart surged.

I also heard the old woman explain anxiously to the nurse, "I'm telling the little girl the story of me and Lao Hua. I haven't finished yet. Let me finish it with her..."

But the nurse's footsteps did not stop. It seems that the old lady's young man is really anxious.

Grandpa Hua... Is it Huatan? They...

Grandma is ninety-two years old, and grandpa is ninety-one years old.

Seventy-five years of acquaintance will be a kind of feeling, I don't say it, but in the world.

What is beyond what? I suddenly feel what kind of weight I bear on my shoulder. He sat on the ground and cried with his knees in his arms.

I didn't cry. I buried my head between my knees and my shoulders shrugged. But it doesn't matter. There is no one here anymore. No one will see this young adult woman who has failed to be a beautiful girl crying here. Even if someone sees it, it doesn't matter.

What does it matter? I don't know him. What does it have to do with knowing each other? I'm already like this, and I've made such a ridiculous thing as jumping off a building. What's the face that hasn't been cleaned up?

I can almost hear the exaggerated and happy laughter of those who used to have joints or jealousy or something at school, which is very harsh in my ear. At this time, I really feel that life is worthless. Do I blame myself for being young and ignorant or for being too rough for others? I have no choice but to help.

Grandma, don't go, is it okay to finish it...

Don't leave me alone. Your story gives me warmth. When you pull away, the warmth also pulls away together, so...

Don't go.

Who can help me, please, help me...

Help me...

The sound is like a leaf falling in the middle of the calm lake, without ripples, but covering my heart.

"Sister, it's time for you to go back for dinner. I bought your favorite spicy hot pot. Although it's not very nutritious, it's better than not eating it.

I looked up, and the sunlight penetrated the leaves and fell scatteredly, mottled his outline that made me confused again and again.

Ha, brother, it's you again. Are you my savior? You have always been by my side.

"Xiao Yi..." There are still tears in my eyes above my eyes, and my eyelids can also be disgustingly swollen. I know that my current appearance has always been ugly. This is my worst state. I really don't want to face him like this, but there's nothing I can do.

"Sister." He gently picked me up from the ground. I lay in his arms, feeling warm and full of the smell of sunshine.

"Sister, I'm sorry that day. In fact, I've always wanted to tell you, but I can't open my mouth. It's me who is impulsive." He held me and walked forward slowly, step by step, steady and powerful.

I leaned lazily in his arms. "It doesn't matter." Then, go to sleep.

I thought I slept for a long time, but I didn't. I woke up when I got to the ward. He jumped down from a child like a chicken blood, and went straight to the steaming spicy hot pot. When he smelled the smell, his saliva flowed all over the ground without any words. He opened his chopsticks and hurriedly instigated two mouthfuls of super-cooked potato chips, which were simply too fragrant. Later, I didn't care about the hot and ate it. At the end, I picked up the disposable bowl that was deformed by me and drank two mouthfuls of oil to feel satisfied.

The mouth is spicy, like a sausage mouth, and there is a circle of oil on the side.

"Have you bought me a drink? Hurry up. Oh, you bought Coke. You didn't tell me earlier. Hurry up..." I took a sip of Pepsi handed over by Xiaoyi and poured it hard. Before I could swallow the water in my mouth, I heard my aunt's very happy voice at the door, "Daughter, I'll bring you crystal dumplings. Open the door quickly..."

"Puff..."

My aunt has come in, and she suddenly became angry when she smelled the smell, "Zheng Ai Li, what are you eating!" The rice cooker in his hand rested heavily on the table and came to me with a black face. He looked at the coke in my hand and the remaining spicy hot corpses in front of me.

"Zhang Xunyi! Come here!"

Xiao Yi wiped the cold sweat on the top of his head and knew that he was inevitably nagging again.

"Is this what you bought for your sister? Don't think I don't know. Your sister and brother like to eat this. Forget it if you eat it. You really don't know if your sister is sick or something? Your sister is suffering from malnutrition. Little ancestor, you still give her these dirty things made of gutter oil. Come on, come and tell your mother how much you hate your sister. You want to buy her these to eat and see what to drink. Yo-yo, damn carbonated drinks are still frozen. You two little ancestors are really going to be pissed off. ..... That's what you're talking about, what are you looking at! Hurry up and put it down and eat dumplings, and Zhang Xunyi, you can also come and eat some. Look!!! Come and eat quickly. Next time I'll catch you eating these junk food. You two have to deduct the food!!!"