Chapter 4

I walked to Yanjiao's room and sat in the tatami in the corner. I buried myself deep in it.

My mind is like a pile of dead wires. My heart jumped wildly. With suffocating pain. I saw me in the mirror, and my eyes were full of my most shameless jealousy. In addition to jealousy, there is also uneasiness. Deep, just like some important baby is about to slip out of my arms.

I wonder if that man often goes to her store because he likes Yan Jiao. I wonder if Yan Jiao just asked me to leave the determination in her eyes. Does she not want me to ruin her good deeds? Will she be with that man? No, I don't. I want to tell her that I like her. Even if she thinks I'm a pervert, even if she hears it, she may turn around and leave me. I can't accept watching her with others. No! If so, I will go crazy!! Yan Jiao. Yan Jiao. If you are with someone else, I will go crazy...

[Bum..] With a gentle sound of closing the door, I heard familiar footsteps.

She came back. With the approaching footsteps, when she opened the door and saw me curled up in the corner of her room, I looked up and saw that the smile on her stiff face had not completely faded, with astonishment in her eyes. There was also heartache, reluctance, slowly spreading, sprinkled in every corner of her eyes. She came to me and half knelt parallel to me. Her hand slowly stroked my hair, and I raised my hand and gently knocked it off. Thinking of her smile when she just came back, she must have had a pleasant talk with that man. Ironically, he pulled away an unnatural smile: "What? Have you talked to him? Does he like you? Are you going to be with him? Her eyes were a little angry. I think I guess I was right.

"Do you think I want to be with him?"

"Isn't it? In fact, if you choose one you like, you can leave. I don't like you to look at me like this, like pity, like sympathy. I watched the anger in her eyes getting stronger and stronger, and it seemed that I guessed right. The more I think about it, the more ironic I talk to her, the more sarcastic she is, and the more sarcastic I am: "He often goes to your store because you are there, right? Or are you already together? Do you just like me like a fool every day as if nothing happens? I don't believe it. Can't you see that I like you?" After listening to me, she raised her hand and stroked my hair, as if comforting an injured child. I didn't need her to pity me like this. I hate her comforting me sympathetically. I raised my hand and gently knocked off her hand: "Don't touch me!" She raised her tone as if she was suddenly stimulated: "Don't move!" Then my hand gently stroked my hair, and I raised my hand and patted her hand away.

[Papa!]

She suddenly slapped me hard in the face, and I gently put my hand on the place where my face was hit. He looked at her in astonishment. She looked at me like this. There was anger in his eyes. Deep. It seems that I have done something unforgivable.

She suddenly held me into her arms with her hands, and her fingers passed through my hair and pressed my head on her shoulder. I didn't move. Let her hold it like this. Her voice suddenly came from my head: "Why are you so stupid? Isn't it the person who wrote the novel? Do you think it's a coincidence that I know you?

I couldn't understand the meaning of this sentence, so I looked up at her. She still hugged me tightly, but now in her eyes, the anger just now has faded a lot, and the deeper and deeper tenderness and reluctance slowly spread in her eyes: "Do you know how long I have liked you? Do you know why I work on the subway? Because I know that you spend at least four days a week there, you always order a glass of lemon and look at the notebook. Keep tapping on the keyboard. I've been looking at you. You have never looked up at me. In order to attract your attention, I deliberately splashed your lemon tea on you, just to make you look at me well. I know that as long as I attract your attention, I will make you like me.

I slowly straightened up and left her arms. I admit that my mind still can't turn around. Her words shocked me no less than the extent of a comet hitting the earth.

We like each other, in order to make each other like ourselves, we calculate each other. But no one knows what to say. Everyone has caused the current situation because they are afraid of breaking it.

I slowly stood up, and my head was a little confused. I want to take a shower and let the cold water erode my chaotic thoughts.

Just as I was about to touch the doorknob, she grabbed my hand and threw it hard in the direction of the bed. With inertia, she leaned over and pressed it up. The changes in her eyes, with tension and desire. Just like when I miss her at night.

Her hand slowly frosted on the hand I grabbed above her head. Gently, with a sense of inquiry. It slowly slid down my face again. Gently rubbed my lips, slowly. Let go of her hand. She slowly rubbed my lips with her lips. Seeing that I didn't resist, I slowly exerted my strength. Slowly pry open my teeth with my tongue, lick my teeth, and wrap them around my tongue. We kissed carelessly like this, intoxicated in each other's whirlpool. Until we all felt suffocation, she looked up at me slightly. The color in her eyes was getting heavier and heavier, just like my breathing. But now it's so firm! She asked me softly, "What do you see in my eyes?"

"I saw myself"

"Yes, you finally saw it! Do you know? In my eyes, there has always been only you!"

Before I could eat up her words, she lowered her head and kissed my lips gently, slowly moved to the corners of her mouth, moved to **'s ears, and bit it gently, making me tremble. I'm about to be pulled into a whirlpool called Yanjiao by her tenderness. There is not enough air there to suffocate me, but I'm willing, just like she also gasping for a little and uncoordinated breathing, igniting everywhere on me with one hand, slowly unbuttoning my clothes, unzipping my trousers, pulling the quilt beside me, and taking me with her. Wrapped in each other's warmth...