Chapter 17

Let me live really, my God, in this way, death becomes real to me.

-Tagore's Bird Collection

I feel a little sorry for myself, and the hot tears made the tip of my nose sour. I really want to throw myself down from the 20th floor, fall, and stir up yesterday's chaos. Everyone hates themselves in the past. What's ridiculous is that people often talk about how beautiful the past is.

It gradually disappeared and dispersed in the thick fog.

In the death of the prickly bird, I blamed myself. I'm an asshole. I think that if I can, the bastard thinks he can bear the prickly bird and change everything. In fact, I was wrong.

I hate unforgivably. What I hate is not that I have lost, but that I can retain it, but I watch it.

What kind of world does the prickly bird go to?

On such an autumn night, the rain kisses the earth gently. The rainwater converged into a fine stream and fell down the fiber structure of the leaves. The rain sticks to the streets and covers the corners of the whole city.

Looking at the rain falling half-closed, time passed in the way that the rain slid down from the front of my eyes.

"Pycethorn bird, are you leaving like this?"

Staring at the rain for a long time, my eyes have hallucinations. I saw the white, golden, orange light wandering. It's just that occasionally in such an illusion, I see a bloody light.

"Xia Shu, can I talk to you?" My sister said outside the door, "Just for a while, okay?"

Under such disturbance, the color of illusion returns to the rainy world, back to the small space that only locks me.

"Xia Shu, haven't you always wanted to know what happened between the spiny bird and me?" My sister said in a pleading tone, "I can tell you everything. As long as you are tortured like this.

Open the door and my sister entered sideways.

"Xia Shu, what you need to know..." My sister can't speak so hard that she doesn't know where to start.

"I want to know, are you betraying your friend?" I stared at her as if I were going to kill my sister.

"No."

"Did you steal what the spiny bird likes..."

"No."

No? What's going on? Isn't that why the spiny bird committed suicide?

My sister took a deep breath and seemed to be very determined to say, "I didn't want to talk about this. However, it has reached the point where it can't be said.

"That was my first year with Thornbird University, and we met Xiu together. Originally, I thought that spiny birds would like to repair. Originally, I joked and said to the prickly bird that everyone should compete fairly. I didn't care much about the conversation between women's close friends. It is known that the prickly bird was very depressed after I said this, and it didn't seem to be very happy all day. Every time I go out with Xiu, the prickly bird is not very happy. The smiles of the prickly bird are getting less and less, so less that they can use pity. I have asked her the reason several times with concern. The prickly bird always shakes its head and says, "Don't ask." You know, spiny birds are rarely like this

The spiny bird is the bright sunshine, and the smile is its own property. It implements all of her life and infects me with this attribute.

My sister sighed and continued, "Soon, Xiu was officially with me. The prickly bird seemed to hate Xiu, and intentionally or unintentionally prevented me from meeting Xiu several times. My first feeling is that maybe the prickly bird also loves cultivation. Therefore, I must ask this matter at the right opportunity.

"I clearly remember that after I came back from a date with Xiu that day, I happily returned to the dormitory and began to sort out the study notes that had been delayed for a day."

The prickly bird sat next to me and asked me, "Are you happy today?"

"Hmm. It's okay." I said casually, "I just went to buy something. I also went..."

"Xia Shu, do you like him very much? Are you really so happy? The prickly bird asked me with a little pain in his tone: "Answer me."

The cold spiny bird would say such a thing. To be honest, I was shocked. I think things have reached the point where it can't be solved.

"Pingbird, do you remember what I said? Everyone should compete fairly..."

Before I finished speaking, the prickly bird's lips kissed me. The prickly bird kissed my lips fiercely and melted to kiss my lips.

"No..." I pushed the spiny bird away and said in surprise, "You..."

"Xia Shu, isn't it wonderful?" The prickly asked me with a smile, "Have you ever loved me?"

The kiss of the prickly bird is indeed very warm, more intense than the kiss of Xiu.

"What are you talking about? Don't make such a joke, okay?"

"I said, do you love me?" The prickly bird said seriously, and I couldn't help but doubt it.

"This..." I was stunned. I have never thought of such a thing.

The prickly bird bent down and kissed me again. Rolling lips, hot lips. It feels strange in my heart.

The spiny bird's hands slowly explored my mysterious area, and I pushed the spiny bird away.

"No." I sat up straight and looked at the prickly bird and said, "I'm sorry, I don't love you."

I stood up and walked out of the dormitory first.

"Why?" The prickly bird asked me, "You obviously love me, don't you?"

"Sorry, I didn't. We are just friends." After saying that, I left quietly.

The prickly bird is gay. This can explain why the spiny bird hates my relationship with Xiu. In the heart of the prickly bird, I am the role of love, not the identity of a close friend in the girl's boudoir.

That's why there is a haze in my smile after hearing that I was in love.

After listening to my sister's story.

I have nothing to say, and I have been silent for a long time.

"Xia Shu, I know it's too cruel to you. But..." The first to break the silence was my sister: "I know, the spiny bird takes revenge on me through you. But..."

"Don't say it."

If all this is true. If all this is so true. It's so true that it can't be summed up in any words. If I have no choice but to know that I was designed in a scam. This is a scam that no one can guess.

The spiny bird took advantage of me, and the spiny bird hurt everyone in this cruel way. The spiny bird hurt my sister by deception on me, like some kind of virus, rendering the gray tone of death.

So what is it to ask for my forgiveness before the prickly bird dies?

If it is a confession, I, who did not forgive the prickly bird, became the indirect murderer who killed the prickly bird.

If the prickly bird's regret and ask for forgiveness before death is another obscure scam...

This is a perfect revenge scam. It stabs the heart of the deceived person with the sharpest sword. It can't get in and out of the game. It is destined to bear this pain.

Is this a game with a dazzling smile and no game designed by prickly birds in the rainy season?

Hehe.

The real me, the real prickly bird. False world. The burning pieces of wood glowed with fire and shouted - this is my flower, my death.

Seven days after the death of the spiny bird, I used the same suicide method to cut the artery of my left hand and lie in a slowed down warm bath.

When the artery was first cut, the blood quickly dyed the whole bathroom red along the artery, and a smell of blood filled the sense of smell. Later, I didn't smell it.

Who is warm, the body temperature is gradually cold, and the consciousness is blurred. At that last moment, I was ashamed to find that I was a little afraid of the arrival of death. Unfortunately, I don't have any strength to survive. I think this may be a trace of desire to survive in human instinct. Even if this person is a selective suicide, this suicidal instinct can't be buried in human nature.

Of course I'm fine, or, what's the end of this story?

My sister dragged me out of the bath, called the emergency number, and was sent to the hospital...

This is something I can remember when I am conscious. The prickly bird left, and I stayed. God really doesn't accept people like me.

Pycethorn bird, where are you okay?

Pingbird...