135: Self-decision

When Shangguan Wanyun heard Hou Shaoyun's words, she trembled all over - not because of fear, but anger!

Looking at Hou Shaoyun in front of him, Shangguan Wanyun couldn't help but be surprised as to who he regarded himself! How dare he say such a thing to himself? Is he such a person in his heart?

"Hou Shaoyun, what do you mean by that?" Shangguan Wanyun's body couldn't help shaking and said word by word.

In fact, as soon as he said this, Hou Shaoyun's drunkenness immediately woke up, and he began to regret what he had said.

In fact, he was indeed too impulsive just now. When he was drunk, he had just been thinking about why Shangguan Wanyun did this to Hou Yunhai. In all aspects, although he was comparable to Hou Yunhai, his gentleness and thoughtfulness to Shangguan Wanyun may never be comparable to Hou Yunhai.

Is the biggest difference because you don't possess Shangguan Wanyun's body like Hou Yunhai?

However, after all, he drank wine. Hou Shaoyun was too impulsive when he said this, and now he regrets it.

Shangguan Wanyun saw that Hou Shaoyun was in a daze and took advantage of this time to push Hou Shaoyun away fiercely. The strength surprised Shangguan Wanyun herself. Hou Shaoyun, who was already drunk, was pushed to the ground by Shangguan Wanyun. He lowered his head and couldn't help shaking his head, and he didn't even dare to look at Shangguan Wanyun.

Seeing his lost appearance, Shangguan Wanyun's previous guilt and apology were not at all. She didn't even bother to help Hou Shaoyun. She turned around and opened the door and went out, and then knocked the door heavily, as if she planned to vent all her anger. The door was The mountain rang, and the servants downstairs were shocked.

Shangguan Wanyun, who was lying in **, locked the door, but despite this, she was still wearing pajamas. Hou Shaoyun's appearance just made her feel scared.

Although she has taken a shower and lay on the soft**, Shangguan Wanyun doesn't feel relaxed at all. On the contrary, she feels that the muscles of her whole body are tight and she can't completely relax.

Just now, Hou Shaoyun's expression kept appearing on Shangguan Wanyun's face, and it could not dissipate anyway, which made Shangguan Wanyun feel very uncomfortable.

Thinking that Hou Shaoyun had just said Hou Yunhai in that situation, which made Shangguan Wanyun have a strange feeling in her heart. She didn't know whether to call it shame or anger. In short, it was a feeling of indignation.

Does Hou Shaoyun think he enjoys the so-called "conquest"? Does he think of himself as that kind of woman and will be easily "conquered" like this?

Besides... I was not willing to do such a thing that happened in those years. Should I also blame it on my own mistake for treating myself like Hou Yunhai?

Does Hou Shaoyun think that it is because Hou Yunhai once treated him like that that that he will never forget him and help Hou Yunhai so selflessly?

These things troubled Shangguan Wanyun. Originally, she would never mention those things about Hou Yunhai over the years. She deliberately wanted to completely forget those things and no longer bother her with those painful and shameful memories, but she did not expect that she would be mentioned by Hou Shaoyun under such a situation today. My heart is upset.

On the other side, Hou Shaoyun has been sitting on the ground without even the strength to get up. He simply lay on the ground and curled up into a ball.

Those things were completely unexpected just now. Hou Shaoyun deeply regretted what he said because he was too impulsive. He didn't want to humiliate Shangguan Wanyun with this matter. He was just impulsive, impulsive, just impulsive.

Not only that, Hou Shaoyun thought of his behavior just now, so... he didn't even have the courage to recall the scene.

Yes, Hou Shaoyun admitted that he couldn't stop at that moment. He really wanted to possess Shangguan Wanyun like that - he couldn't resist the ** brought to him by Shangguan Wanyun. Her temperament was always ** himself. As long as he was a normal man, he could not refuse.

Especially after getting drunk, there is a kind of motivation in his body that drives him impulsively to occupy and conquer Shangguan Wanyun! Although Hou Shaoyun admitted that he couldn't stop being able to stop Shangguan Wanyun, he also deeply felt his desire for Shangguan Wanyun in the pain of suddenly waking up late at night. He didn't know what he should do to get her. Is it like Hou Yunhai?

This gave Hou Shaoyun an excuse to occupy Shangguan Wanyun, but more came from a human instinct. He wanted to be with Shangguan Wanyun. He was dissatisfied with his greedy desire. He wanted to get along with Shangguan Wanyun day and night, wanted to possess her more, and wanted to see her lying when he opened his eyes every day. By my side.

Hou Shaoyun found that this feeling of asking for it was almost driving him crazy. He didn't know how to treat this feeling, whether to continue to pursue it or let it go. These feelings are like greedy bugs, biting Hou Shaoyun's heart bit by bit and biting his reason bit by bit, making him feel more and more impulsive and unable to control himself.

This feeling made Hou Shaoyun a little afraid, and a dark fear bred in his heart.

No, it should not be said to be breeding. It should be said that it was once dark. The darkness covered by him with white paper is now restless, as if he is waiting for an opportunity to burst out again.

These things suddenly happened, which made Hou Shaoyun think of his past, that day, the past that he spent a lot of time and energy to cover up, and the most insurmountable thing was his heart. He closed himself for so long, did not have any contact with the outside world, reflected on himself every day, and lonelyly His past was completely washed, as if he had broken a cocoon and transformed himself. Although it was a better change, it was also a layer of skin. Hou Shaoyun didn't want to experience that painful feeling again.

Not only that, he thought of the dark life before, as if the sun would not rise after every night came. He really wanted to love you with a knife across his throat and kill himself at any time.

Hou Shaoyun no longer wants to live like that. He almost took his life to complete his transformation. He will not let himself become what he used to be again.

But Shangguan Wanyun has become ** her own reason...

Hou Shaoyun shook his head in pain and didn't know what to do. He felt that Shangguan Wanyun was like a poison specifically aimed at himself in the world, like candy. Everyone liked it, but he was a diabetic.

In the hesitation and swing, Hou Shaoyun fell asleep quietly. He lay on the ground and saw the waves beating against the reef outside, as if he was about to be involved in the boundless sea. Hou Shaoyun suddenly felt exhausted and bored that he was too lazy to move, even if the sea would I'm too lazy to resist being involved.

Yes, I'm too tired to live in this world.

In fatigue, Hou Shaoyun didn't know how long he had slept, but when he opened his eyes, it was already bright.

Looking at himself in the mirror, Hou Shaoyun began to feel a kind of disgust - he had not been so hung over for a long time. Seeing his stubble cheeks, messy hair, and blue-black eyes, which reminded Hou Shaoyun of his life, and those times that he deeply hated made Hou Shaoyun I can't wait to pooh my face in the mirror.

Opening the shower, hot water poured on his body, making Hou Shaoyun, who had slept on the cold floor all night, feel warm, as if he suddenly felt that he was still alive. There was a kind of emotion. He couldn't help sighing that it was indeed a good thing to be alive. At least he could feel the hot water and see the sunshine.

After washing well, Hou Shaoyun came downstairs and looked at the wall clock and found that it was almost noon.

The servant looked at his eyes very strangely, which made Hou Shaoyun feel a little uncomfortable. He subconsciously ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror. There was no other abnormality, but his face was very bad.

This makes Hou Shaoyun feel more strange. Why do they look at themselves like that?

His eyes flashed, as if he were curious, but he didn't dare to look directly at himself. This kind of gaze made Hou Shaoyun feel anxious, and that kind of gaze seemed to turn into tens of millions of ants climbing on him, making him feel uncomfortable.

"Mr. Hou," the housekeeper came forward. He was still the same, with no expression on his face. When Hou Lei was not in Sweden, the whole manor was taken care of by the old housekeeper alone. I have to say that he was a very loyal and capable person. Although Hou Lei was not there, he still beat the manor by himself. It's orderly. Whenever you come here, you will feel comfortable and relaxed. This is also the reason why Hou Lei often likes to come here to rest when he is tired. "Miss Shangguan ordered us to prepare breakfast for you. Would you want to have dinner now?"

Hou Shaoyun waved his hand. He drank too much wine last night, and the red wine in his stomach had not been digested. He felt that it was still burning in his stomach, so that he could not eat anything at all. "No."

The housekeeper nodded and turned around to do something else.

"That's right," Hou Shaoyun still couldn't help asking, "Where is Miss Shangguan?"

"Miss Shangguan said that she had something to do and went out by herself early in the morning."

"Okay, I know."

Sitting on the sofa, Hou Shaoyun felt bored. He felt that he was neither like a host nor a guest here, which was very embarrassing. Thinking about it, didn't he come here to accompany Shangguan Wanyun to investigate Luo Lili's matter, but last night he offended Shangguan Wanyun, now I don't know whether to apologize or what to do.

Hou Shaoyun fiddled with the mobile phone in his hand and wanted to call Shangguan Wanyun, but he couldn't make up his mind. He didn't know what she was doing now and where she was.

After lunch, Hou Shaoyun walked alone in the post-Thunder Manor, as if this manor belonged to him. This feeling was the feeling that Hou Shaoyun dreamed of, but when he really tried this feeling, the mixed feelings were rendered in Hou Shaoyun's heart.

Yes, Hou Shaoyun has always dreamed that he can own such a manor. He knows that his current feeling is just a short-lived dream. That's right. This unreal feeling makes him regretful and sad.

Since he was a child, Hou Shaoyun knew that one of the most fairest things in the world was unfairness. God is unfair to everyone, so he never complained about the injustice of the world to himself, nor did he care about others having a better family than himself. He has always been willing to believe that he relies on his own ability. It can be changed, but with increasing age, Hou Shaoyun's goals and desires have not changed, but his enthusiasm has been increasingly replaced by anger. He feels that he always seems to be troubled by the desire he wants.

In fact, Hou Shaoyun did make a lot of efforts, which is unimaginable to ordinary people, but he did not get the reward he deserved. Hou Shaoyun began to become more and more mature and less willing to face the world. He has seen too much ugliness in the world and felt too much inequality. This made him become extreme and try his best to change himself.

In so many years, Hou Shaoyun has been constantly changing and improving himself. In order to get what he wanted, he even did not hesitate to use all means, but he could not achieve it, which made Hou Shaoyun become more and more extreme, and the original persistence and kindness in his heart gradually disappeared.

Later, Hou Shaoyun began to walk on the road better and better as he wanted, but this made Hou Shaoyun feel more and more tired. It was a kind of fatigue from the heart. He got what he wanted, but this did not make Hou Shaoyun feel that the world became better again. On the contrary, he kept talking to him Instead, it came with more endless ugliness and darkness.

Exactly, Hou Shaoyun chose to stop that kind of life, reborn at all costs, and made a new identity for himself.

During the period when he was trapped at home, Hou Shaoyun cut off all contact with the outside world and was unwilling to let others interfere with him again to avoid his will being disturbed. He knew that no one in the world could be disturbed by others, and no one's will could be so firm. For this reason, Hou Shao The cloud completely closed itself.

In those painful days, Hou Shaoyun lived like a year, and almost every day was counted. Every time he wanted to give up because of the pain of self-resistance, his longing for the future supported him to go on little by little, that little light made him insist on going, if not those intentions Zhi's words, I'm afraid he has already been swallowed up by darkness.

When Hou Shaoyun walked out of the house for the first time and stood in the sun again in a neat suit, Hou Shaoyun felt that the world was so beautiful. He believed that he would usher in a better world after his rebirth.

Although every step after that is so difficult, Hou Shaoyun would rather choose his current life after experiencing heaven and hell.

It's just that every time he sees people like Hou Yunhai and Guianyuan, Hou Shaoyun always has an inexplicable resentment. For example, now, when he walks in such a manor, he will resent why it can't belong to him.

It can be said that if he continues to walk on the previous dark road, Hou Shaoyun will probably have his own manor soon, but he is determined to grit his teeth and not want to go back. He knows that there are gains and losses in the world, and nothing can come out of thin air, like a pie falling from the sky. Falling on his head.

This has also become the only reason for Hou Shaoyun to settle down.

This made Hou Shaoyun think of Shangguan Wanyun again. It was her. This beautiful woman like an angel was her fatal wound, the fuse for her to go back, and the demon against him alone.

It was Shangguan Wanyun who made Hou Shaoyun have the desire to commit crimes, which made him not know what to do. He wanted to possess Shangguan Wanyun so much. He knew how difficult it was to have Shangguan Wanyun, but he just wanted it so much.

Hou Shaoyun kept struggling in pain. Hou Shaoyun felt that the desire was eating his heart little by little. The fat insect was getting fatter and fatter and his appetite was getting bigger and bigger.

This scared him. He was afraid that he would become his former self because he wanted to possess Shangguan Wanyun too strongly - to possess this woman by despicable means.

Shangguan Wanyun made him crazy and make him want to possess her at all costs. The government, especially when Hou Shaoyun felt that the reason why Shangguan Wanyun would pay for Hou Yunhai was because Hou Yunhai had used that shameless method to take Shangguan Wanyun for himself, which was like allowing Hou Shaoyun The reason for depravity seems to give him a reason to be presumptuous.

Especially during this period, Hou Shaoyun has been hesitating and swinging.

After experiencing what happened last night, Hou Shaoyun felt that he was now standing on a cliff, which was very dangerous. With a slight mistake, he would fall into the abyss again. It was difficult for him to climb out again, and he didn't want to make himself bloody again. He no longer wants to accept the painful taste.

Should I give up like this? Hou Shaoyun couldn't help but have begun to have this idea. Maybe it's right to give up. Approaching Shangguan Wanyun again will only make himself more dangerous.

For men, maybe they should be cruel to themselves. After all, not everything in the world can be obtained by themselves. Love and career can only be chosen one of them, not to mention that even if they conquer Shangguan Wanyun by that means, it is only a short fantasy.

Thinking of this, Hou Shaoyun smiled helplessly, so, that's it...