Chapter 9

I have been thinking for a long time. I remember that I promised Xiaoyang to write a composition for him, and I was going to take this opportunity to write a "breakup letter" to her. Of course, this is a naive idea. I calmed down my luck, and I finally brought Xiaoyang here. She is still dressed that day, but she is still so beautiful. But I found a more obvious fold at the end of her skirt, and I ordered myself to break up with her today. After slowly taking a sip of water, I said to Xiaoyang, "Xiaoyang, alas, there is something I've been thinking about for a long time. Ha, look at me. I'm just a poor boy who can't do anything. I'm lazy all day long. Writing articles is just a fart. It's nothing, and I'm still a fake fart made by Lu Xun, a learner... I think, I'm real. It doesn't deserve you. Don't get excited. Listen to me... So, I think we'd better break up."

"Husband, aren't you kidding me?" Xiaoyang changed his smile and asked nervously.

"Don't call me 'husband', okay? We're not married..." I couldn't bear to see her and said cruelly.

"Husband, what's wrong with you? Did I say something wrong again? Tell me, I will definitely change it. Please, don't do this..."

"I... You didn't do anything wrong. It's my fault. I shouldn't have accepted your..."

"Honey, do you like other girls? Is she very beautiful?"

"There is no other person's business. It's my own business. I'm not good enough. You don't have a good life with me. Didn't you notice? I haven't taken you to any entertainment place for consumption. I'm a poor man, and I can't even afford a meal.

"No, honey, you're not. I won't think you're poor. If you think my life is too high, I'll change it. I can live a low profile. I don't want to wear these clothes..."

"No, Xiaoyang, don't do this. Love without material foundation is a castle in the air. It's impossible for us..."

"Do you hate that I always ask you with Lu Xun? I swear, I won't do it in the future."

"It's none of other people's business. It's my own problem. Xiaoyang, we can't be together. I wish you happiness in the future. I'm leaving."

"Don't, don't, don't go..." Xiaoyang was about to cry. She pulled the corners of my coat and wouldn't let me go.

I used great courage to get rid of her attachment and left cruelly. She left her dignity and crying, the idol aura she built on me, her persistence with me and my perfunctory, and everything about her and me. I didn't dare to go back to the dormitory. I was crazy to find a corner to calm down and let everything start from scratch. That's how good it is. My mobile phone kept ringing. I didn't look at it. I knew it was from Xiaoyang. I couldn't control myself anymore. Tears came out of my eyes, and large tears filled my face. I wiped it with my cuffs indiscriminately. When my finger touched the hang-up button, I couldn't help pressing the answer button. There was a twitching cry from the other end of the mobile phone, and he couldn't cry. My teeth are clenching on my sleeves, and there is no trace of choking. The other end of the mobile phone seemed to be worried that I would hang up the phone. She must have no time to wipe her tears. Xiaoyang's excited voice came: "Honey, wow~~ No matter what decision you make, I will support you. Please don't leave me. If you want, I can give it to you now. Please don't leave me..." I can't help crying, and I turned off my mobile phone. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. I fantasize about the destination I'm going to travel to. There is a gentle girl I met five years ago and have been together for three years. There is a breath of life that only belongs to that era. Only there can my pain be turned into nothing little by little.

The next day, I woke up from confusion. I carried a bag and told my dormitory brother that I would be absent from class for a few days and asked them to help me as much as possible, so I ran out of the campus. At this time, I was in a trance to find that I had been circled in this airless stuffy gourd for a long time, and I had no longer knew anything about the world. After taking the wrong bus and waiting for an extra bus, I arrived at the railway station. This ugly miser who is dry and rude in reality to warn the world of the direction of the way! However, he will never worry about the lack of money, and there will always be such a large crowd here to hesitate and hesitate. After more than two hours of queue, I finally got the train ticket to that city as I wished. On the way to the security gate, there was an old beggar with ragged clothes lying down. I think the old man may have his own clear destination. Unfortunately, the cruelty of reality made him desperate. I took out a ten yuan from my wallet and handed it to his bowl. Turn around and walk to the security checkpoint. When the staff asked me to show my ticket, I looked through my wallet but couldn't find it. When did I lose it? Thinking of the only scene of withdrawing money before, I immediately went back to find the old beggar. However, the money was empty, and only the abandoned newspaper on the ground was left on his back. I looked around, and my gloomy and low faces were full of innocence and hatred. They seemed to have things to do as urgent as themselves. However, they all have the ability, courage and time to deal with things in an orderly and neat manner. I wandered around the railway station square for more than an hour. The sky seemed to smile and tease, pretending to be sympathetic to tell you that it was going to be dark.

I walked under a row of French sycamore trees. At this time, my mobile phone rang, which was a lot of unexpected gains for a person who had no way to go. I didn't even have time to see who it was, so I got on the phone. It turns out, ha, it's Nongbo. Well, it's worthy of being a good brother. Only you can feel it when I'm in danger. Nongbo changed his usual and asked me in a very low-key tone where I am now and how I have been recently. I scolded, "Did you talk nonsense to me on the phone when you have nothing to do?" But there was an abnormal silence. I began to feel that something was wrong. I carefully tried, "What... What's wrong? What's the matter?" Nongbo hesitated, "No... It's a big deal, I, the last time I called to tell you that I'm getting married." As soon as I heard it, I got angry and scolded, "What? Are you getting married? What's wrong with you? It's such a big thing to get married... Hey, when did you become so low-key? Nongbo was silent again. I seemed to vaguely feel something and asked, "Who is the bride?" Yes, it's a high school classmate, Yu Yu, good brother, listen to me... I," I tried to contain my inner shock and tried to exhale heavily. Nongbo did not continue to defend, so I concluded that his bride was indeed Yu Yu. I deliberately teased him loudly and exaggeratedly, "Nongbo, you~~ Boy, how did you get it? That year, I chased her for a whole year, but I didn't calm her out. You..." I didn't want to hear his voice for the time being, so I hung up the phone. I stood still, leaning my back against Fatong, taking a big breath of the dirty air, trying to squeeze out the pain in my body. I adjusted my breathing and began to recall the mutation just now. It's ridiculous that Yu Yu is going to be the bride of Nongbo. When did they get together? In high school, they almost never talked. How could it be?

I stood by the tung tree with my hands down, alone, next to a green trash can, and a cigarette box lying nearby. I leaned over and picked it up. It was empty. I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. Only then did I realize the importance of smoking. Having a cigarette is equivalent to a gentle and considerate woman for a man. I touched my pocket, but fortunately I didn't lose my wallet in a panic just now. I took out a hundred, saving money in one hand and holding a cigarette case in the other. When I was about to go to a small store nearby, my mobile phone rang again. My anger suddenly came up again, and I began to be angry with my mobile phone. "Nongbo, I'm in a bad mood now. I don't want to talk more, and I can't say it well. I think we are brothers and I don't want to lose my temper. Yes, that's right. I liked Yu Yu at the beginning, and it was the same until just now. However, since you two are well, I can only bless you. It's just... I'm sorry, I didn't adjust my mood. I'll call you another day to apologize. You, you... Hey, can you say something?!" Husband... It's me..." It's Xiaoyang! I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. What's going on? I blame you for being too hasty to see who it is just now. Anyway, I have separated from her. Today, I will die happily. I said lightly, "What, it's you, what's the matter?"

"Husband, are you all right now?"

"Me? Of course, I dumped you. I can't wait to be so happy, huh."

"Husband, where are you?"

"I'm... Why should I tell you? Anyway, I'm living a good life now. Don't bother me anymore. If nothing happens, I'll hang up first.

"Oh, don't hang up yet. Listen to me first. I know you're in pain and uncomfortable now. If there is anything, you can tell me that I can share my worries with you. We will resist the hardships in life together. I am never afraid of hardships. I... I will follow you in my life!" I suddenly choked and admitted defeat and said, "Xiaoyang, I know you care about me and like me, but I'm a flower-hearted radish. I'm not worth your effort. You should forget me..."

"Husband, I'm sure you're my husband. Are you worth it? I don't care if you like it. Do you remember that you said that you would always be my support? From today on, I would always be a cigarette when you are in a low mood.

"What? Smoke? Where are you? I subconsciously looked at the cigarette case in my hand and hurriedly looked up around.

At this time, Xiaoyang came out of a tung tree a few meters away from me with a depressed face. I saw that she was still wearing the clothes of that day. Under the obscure light of the gray street scene, she was like a poor child who was homeless, hungry and cold, as if she saw me at this time. I covered my mouth and laughed at her embarrassment. She smiled sweetly and stubbornly pouted to one side...