Chapter 5: Can't hear

The exam is getting closer and closer, and the New Year is coming. After the New Year, it is the exam. Xiaochuan asked his friends in the same dormitory to go to McDonald's all night.

It's a rare all-nighter. The first night is very efficient. Reading in the dead of night is actually very good. No one wants to study quietly.

On the second night of McDonald's, I didn't get enough sleep during the day, and my whole body was dizzy. I was not clear-headed, but I had to think of some unhappy things.

Blank paper, smear and sketch some text.

"December 27-28, 2008 is still the day to stay up all night at McDonald's.

Arrive to McDonald's at 19:00pm, it's a little noisy

21:00pm began to be tired. McDonald's can surf the Internet, go to the Internet, the brain-damaged incident happened, and a small vest was made

Text your friends at 23:00pm - McDonald's overnight package is in progress. Everyone expressed their condolences, but you didn't reply.

24:00pm I'm so tired. I want to sleep. I'm texting in the subgroup - the sound of not sleeping, and you also didn't reply.

I listened to the music of my mobile phone, but no matter how I play it, the music always unconsciously becomes Cannon over and over again. It hurts a little. Maybe I should listen to IamOK

1:00am Forced myself to stop thinking and try to forget. I listened to "Unrequited Love with a Flower"

1:11am suddenly remembered Orange, Xiaoyu, Can's words, should I say goodbye loudly? I always use half a year to remember the past, pay tribute to love, use one missed memory, another missed, shake your head, can't miss you anymore, you won't give me anything again.

2:13am Wake up from a nap. It's so cold. I want to have a warm embrace

3:33am In the continuation of the Western Classic, every time I see the LM curve, it always reminds me of you. You are my poison. One by one has been left in my heart for a long time. I am obsessed, addicted, I can't quit, I can't throw it away, and the headphones are still ringing. I think I'm crazy, and the things that should be quit are still around.

Since you left, I'm used to listening to Cannon alone, crying alone, thinking about you alone at night, and waiting for a word of concern

The headphones slipped off their ears, it was raining outside, and McDonald's was a little cold in the early morning.

Like my hand, the four seasons are as cold as one, and no one holds it and warms it

What Orange said is very right. No matter how many obsessions I have, it's in vain. What Xiao Yu said is also very right. There will be no intersection between me and his life from now on.

Monan, maybe I'm more stupid. The person who hurts forever is me, and the one who is crazy is me. Maybe what I'm always infatuated with in love is just a warm feeling

Orange said, you take away the gentleness, and others give it to me. What I miss is always just the feeling

3:54am The sky is not clear, in the early morning of McDonald's, my poison, I eat without hesitation, the rain in December, not like Nanjing in winter, cold fingers, painful heart, piano cannon, memories to quit, a person's sadness, the words written with a pen, all continue

BY Ogawa

4:00am on December 28

In fact, the words can never be finished, but I'm tired, and I'm tired of my heart

Stop the Cannon in the headphones

It's not clear, and it's cold at night"

For the last time or another time, he knew that he should not be sad for him. In fact, Xiaochuan could never figure out where he was worth loving.

Love or not, exist or leave, Xiaochuan can never figure it out.

I can't hear him. Maybe I can put it down. I can't hear it. I don't want to hear anything.

One day at the end of December, Xiaoman's avatar kept flashing.

[Ogawa, I want to make an electronic magazine.]

[Very good.]

[Can you help me write a text?]

[Me?]

[Good]

[Just write any one]

[Eh-huh.]

Maybe I've been too chaotic this year. It's time to summarize everything. Ogawa's fingers jumped on the keyboard and wrote those words.

"I thought I was good at dancing with long sleeves and could perform my joys and sorrows. The play is not over. I already know that my life is just a tragedy - life is like a play.

"The flowers are falling and the flowers are flying all over the sky, and the red fragrance is broken. Who is the pity?" A play of the sad golden mourning jade is finally about to disperse.

I buried my past, looking for, and couldn't find my beloved.

Orange January:

With the longing of love, I went back to my place to look for it. From Nanjing to Shenyang, I can't find any trace of you. You are a lonely wolf, I am a lonely worm, licking the wound you left alone.

Blue February:

I can't wait for your warmth, so I choose to give up. There have been more scars in my world since then, which are the traces you have walked through. Lonely in the night, I don't have any memories of February 14 in my story.

Purple March:

From Shenyang to Nanjing, too much sadness, too much memory. Stay away from one person, stay away from you. There is no your blessing or greeting on my birthday. Willful confession, willful to ask you to refuse, long knew that you didn't have me in your heart. I have been lying to myself with lies.

Black April:

I wandered to Hangzhou alone on the day called Tomb-sweeping Day. Pay tribute to my lost love and lost memories. I lost my mobile phone and cut off all contact with you. What can't be deleted is memories. When I dream back at midnight, I look at you and cry.

Pink May:

The days when I was possessed by debt and started to work. Thinking of our acquaintance, my heart aches inexplicably. I'm so numb that I won't cry. I began to write a diary that only belongs to me one by one, and with such a group of people, obsessed with killing games.

Peach-colored June:

I met him and him, a passer-by in my life. At first, many people called me wife, but you never gave me a name. I admit that I'm lonely, so I fell in love and pretended to be happy, but I chose to leave first.

Silver July:

Looking at him who was also disappointed in love, he unconsciously wanted to comfort him. Even if I am scolded again and again, I will still come back. The person I love doesn't love me, and I don't love the person who loves me. We are all struggling in love.

Grey August:

Throughout the summer vacation, I did nothing but found myself so close to death. The safety of my family is more important than my love. I pierced my ears, regardless of the objection. I began to get tired of his love, and I chose to leave.

The cyan September:

I fled back to Nanjing from Shenyang and unexpectedly harvested my love. Busy for the community. I thought I was the happiest person. Nanjing and Tongliao, two distant cities, the intoxication of the two of us surprised others. It's just you who left, not me.

Green October:

Falling into the whirlpool of tears, I finally understand that the person you are waiting for will never be me. I buried my past. It turns out that I believe in the existence of Buddha. You and I are not destined, and fate is not forced. October is the autumn equinox, the time to break up in autumn.

Golden November:

I perform a one-man show and know that I am just a spectator in your play. I stood alone on the stage and played my role alone. At the end of the play, it is a joke, it is my monologue, and it is my loss.

White December:

My play ended, burying the story of the past, leaving a blank. I don't want to think about anything, only a blank.

"At the end of the sky, where is the fragrant hill? It's not like a kit to collect beautiful bones, and a pure soil to cover the wind."

Hold a handful of pure land, bury my love, and bury my past. I never choose to lose my memory, but I find that the memory begins to deceive me. Those sadness, the memory automatically omitted, blurs your shadow, blurs your birthday, blurs your phone number, and blurs the warmth you give me.

"Today's funeral is a fool. He knows who he is buried every year... Once the spring is over, you will be old, and you won't know whether the flowers will fall or dead.

Buried love, we are still friends. Maybe we didn't love deeply, maybe the person we didn't care about was me. I won't rely on anyone anymore. You can't let me take off my shell.

Isn't it good to be strong and happy together?

Thank you, Xiaoman, for giving me a chance to recall. In fact, memories are a kind of happiness, because after many years, we can smile and say, "I used to be so stupid."

What is buried is flowers, love, it is the past, it is the memory, what is left is blank, blank days, blank future.