Chapter 36

There are some things that you don't know to cherish until you lose them, but by that time, you have already eaten them. Things can't be retained, and no matter how you regret it, there will be no good result.

Hao Lin asked himself that there was no place to be sorry for picking it up. Maybe in addition to his own text messages, and after seeing Shu picking up and having an affair with others on the Internet, he had a complaint in his heart and locked his mobile phone text messages. This may be an unforgivable mistake that made Shu pick up a crack in his heart.

But now I know that she has left.

Although it's just to go back to the dormitory, anyone can hear the voice. She left him.

It may be because he hurt her.

However, when things get to this point, Haolin doesn't know when he hurt her. In this way, Haolin is indeed stupid and ignorant enough.

He sat in front of the computer and could only look at the computer in a daze. The countless words in my mind can't be expressed through fonts for a while.

He has a feeling that there is no way to start.

Did Shu pick up and leave me after hearing about my love complex? Or am I not gentle enough to make her think that I'm playing with her? Or because of her nature, it is impossible to be with a man for a long time?

His brain is messed up. I have no idea what I'm thinking.

He felt that he was wrong for a moment. After a while, I felt that it was because of Shu's pick-up personality. However, it is more aggrieved and uncomfortable.

Before she left, there was no sign. When she left, there was no conflict with her. The day before she left, she kissed herself and said that she would love her all her life. But are these all lies?

What else does she have left besides lies? Has she played with other people's feelings since she was born in society?

Haolin felt only at a loss.

The QQ picked up by Shu is not online, and the gray avatar is quietly fixed in the specific group of forove. A group just for Shu to pick up a person. I just want to stay with her for the rest of my life.

However, she left. He left without any sign. Only those things that are destined to belong only to the memory of 'happiness' are left, but at this moment, it has become 'pain' exclusive.

The white satrap bag picked up by Shu was still hanging on the wall of Haolin's bedroom. The simple wardrobe she bought also stood at the foot of the bed. The glasses that were broken by Haolin's anger were also quietly placed in the corner of the table. It was Shu who picked up after his birthday that night. He heard that Haolin received a strange phone call and lost his temper. Haolin coaxed him for a long time without any results and broke a lens angrily.

Now, exclusive memories.

What can I do?

It is not a love that can be preserved. Why should I feel bad? Didn't Niu Shuai also say that he had sex with her two days after knowing her? For such a woman who can go to a man's bed casually, am I worth it? Why do you sit here sulking? Why do you feel blocked in your heart?

Why?

Why does the chest hurt so much that it makes people unable to breathe! Why do you feel palpitations?

There are many reasons why. Haolin sat in front of the computer and lay weakly on the keyboard!

What should I do?

Can I keep her?

Haolin really wants to end his life at this time.

For life, I suddenly feel that it is dark. I have never seen sunshine. Perhaps, the era of sunshine only belongs to young, ignorant and naive children or adolescence. After being born in society, firewood, rice, oil and salt crushed the belief in my heart, and I was busy running around in a city that did not belong to me to sell my freedom to find my ideal life.

But those ideal lives are always as beautiful as a picture scroll. Always live in a dream. Reality tore those scrolls again and again, break the beautiful dreams, and let him return to the hellish reality from the fairyland-like fantasy.

I have never felt that I will become like this. I am busy every day just to survive.

I once had lofty ambitions and ideals, fantasizing about standing on the stage of the world, relying on my own efforts to create a world. Then stand on the stage and give your own speech about a successful life. However, after entering the society, it is difficult to know that these are unrealistic.

scoundrel, Haolin can only bury these ideas in a corner of his heart without touching them. A place you will never see. Then, I began to customize my ideal and more realistic life for myself. Get married and have children, and live an ordinary life. Accompany your lover, accompany your children, don't be busy with work, don't give up your personality for life, abandon your freedom, and live freely.

But Lin Xin, who appeared before, made Haolin feel that it was a dream to be with his beloved. The person who broke this dream was Haolin himself. Because of his love complex. It was destined that he could not be with Lin Xin.

That year. He is eighteen years old. Just came out of the army, I still have that lofty ideal ambition in my arms. He said: Since the relationship was established a long time ago, why can't you wait for me to come back? Since you can betray me, I doubt what you said to me. I won't believe it. I believe I will find a better girl than you in the future. At that time, he had a strong heart. Maybe it can't be regarded as strong, it can only be regarded as ignorance.

Now, Haolin has just celebrated his 20th birthday. Entering the age of 21. He has an ordinary heart. He just wants to pick it up with this Shu to create a happy home of their own. Then you don't have to work hard for life, just live a plain life. However, Shu picked it up and left. He suddenly felt that his sky suddenly collapsed. The former wind and clouds have long ceased to exist, and those beliefs that used to be changed because of society have become very real and no longer full of fantasy.

Therefore, Shu picked up and became the whole of his life. However, all of your life has left, so is it interesting to live in this world?

What can you create for the world? I'm just a manure-making machine! Die, you've been dead for a hundred years. There are not so many worries and pains. You don't have to quarrel with your colleagues about a little trivial matter every day, you don't have to add a hundred more for your salary, or play with the people around you with 50. Don't worry about the random command of those vain guys every day.

Result yourself! Let go of your own heart, so that you can really soar in the blue sky, not be bound, not from secular troubles, and be truly free!

But, can you get yourself out of it? And the parents, who ended up with themselves, what should they do?

Why are there always so many troubles? Why can't those so-called mountains and seas resist the erosion of firewood, rice, oil and salt? Why is this?

Is it your nature to make you become so casual? If you had known that you would be like this at the beginning, you should not have broken my peaceful life!

Haolin roared in his heart. But what's the use?

Shu picked it up and left. It may never be possible to see him again. Although she left a message on QQ that she wanted to come and get her things back, she could come quietly and take all the things away. You don't have to meet Haolin at all.

Can't I really keep you? In a blink of an eye, Haolin only felt deeply helpless. A powerful feeling of incongruity. The despair of life made him see the love that he had always thought would be sacred like a pile of shit.

He began to want to know why Shu picked up like this!

He began to leave a message on the QQ picked up by Shu!

A lot of sensational words, he said: Since we were together at the beginning, why did they leave in a blink of an eye? Why is it like this? Have you ever loved me? You said you would be with me for a lifetime, but why can't you do it?

Shu picked it up. I know I had a lot of bad things before, but those are because you have an affair with some of your heterosexual friends on the Internet every day. I feel uncomfortable. You can say intimate words to them in front of me. A man will be angry.

I never thought you would be like this. Didn't you agree for a lifetime, but why did you leave?

••••

If there are many words, there are about more than a thousand words, and Haolin posted it on the QQ picked up by Shu. Just wait for Shu to pick it up and reply to himself.

Desperate. Shu Pick-up has not been online for a long time. I haven't been able to get in touch with her. Haolin called her a lot, but she didn't answer any of them.

Can you really let go of this relationship?

Haolin cleaned up his despair and temporarily suppressed his mood. He stared at the screen and muttered to himself.

In the evening, Haolin found two colleagues to drink together. I drank a little too much and got drunk. He didn't drink well in the first place. His colleague helped him back to rent a house, and he fell asleep.

The next day, he didn't go to work. The feeling of headache made him feel dizzy when he got up from **, but his heart still hurts. It hurts so much that I can't breathe. He asked his colleagues to go to work first, stay alone at home, lie in **, and no longer sleepy.

He looked straight at the ceiling, and the snow-white color filled the corners of his eyes. The color is like a mourning. I'm condolences to the person lying down.

It is about to die, it is about to be destroyed, and everything is dead. There are only the walking dead left. Constition for the soul, let the soul rest in another world.

It seems that after understanding everything, this body will also follow the soul to another country, where there is no intrigue, no deception, no tears, no troubles, only its own tearless country.

A country without tears, without tears, no troubles, no worries, no deception, no fights. It belongs to heaven, its own world, and the last pure land at the moment of life's death. There, the fairy sounds are lingering, peaceful and peaceful. There, exclusive soul, exclusive happiness, exclusive to your own country. It's called no tears!