chapter 28 gu. City

The next day, my grandfather passed away. I was sleeping on a bench in the corridor when the young doctor woke me up. I think he thought I would cry, I would go crazy, and I would collapse. But when he told me the news, I was calm and I said to him, "Doctor, do you know? I just had a dream."

"I dreamed that a very luxurious RV was unveiled, carrying me and my parents out to play. The scenery along the way was very beautiful, but the car drove to the edge of the cliff, the car overturned, and our whole family fell down. Then I saw my grandfather smile, and you woke me up. I guess you're going to tell me that he's gone."

The doctor still didn't say anything and patted me on the shoulder to let me go with him. We walked to the intensive care unit. I saw the nurses slowly pulling out the pipes inserted in my grandfather's body. Outside the door, there were some relatives I knew or didn't know. They either cried or had no expression like me.

Suddenly, my stomach was very painful, and it was mixed together randomly. I covered my stomach and ran to the toilet and vomited violently. I didn't eat anything in those days, but I vomited a lot. In a trance, I seemed to hear a kind voice calling me, "Xiao Li, Xiao Li..." With a sound, it gradually blurred and clear.

I put my hands together and take me away, okay? Grandpa took me with him.

Since then, insomnia has become worse.

I looked at the increasing raindrops outside the window, held my head, and cried in a low voice.

I admit that I am afraid, I am afraid of darkness, afraid of sadness, afraid of being hurt, afraid of betrayal, afraid of loneliness. But I never turn on the light to sleep, and I like to live alone. Perverted persistence, I don't know who to revenge on? I admit that I am cruel to myself, because I have always been afraid of relying on anyone's warmth to me. Just like relying on Li Luo before, so that after he left, I was no different from dying.

It won't happen in the future. It's best to rely on yourself.

I feel that my desperate life has no end until the day I really die.

Exited.

Someone is knocking on my door, and the voice is very soft. It's the kind that wants to knock on me to open the door and is afraid of waking me up.

I thought it was Xiao Yi. I wiped my tears and popped the cigarette butt out of the window and opened the door. When I opened the door, I found that there was a tired landlord standing outside the door. His face was paler than before, and his lips were very dry and about to crack. I'm in a miserable mood now. I feel that I should sympathize with him properly. After all, people have been saved, and I have to save him to the end.

I turned sideways to let him in and lie down. He didn't say anything and fell down**. It felt a little strange to see me open the window wide, and all the rain was wet and the curtains dripped to the floor. There is also the old-fashioned radio that sings, because he will also feel very good about this feeling.

I guess it might be a little cold tonight, so I opened the wardrobe and took out a large blanket and carefully covered him. I slept next to him wrapped in a small velvet blanket. I almost slept on the edge of the bed, and there was a large piece of space in the middle. I have to admit that I still have a lingering palpit for him.

"Why don't you ask?" He said.

I smiled and said, "This kind of thing should be a shameful thing in a face-to-faced person like you. I don't ask, I'll keep it for you. But I don't mind listening to what you want to say.

"Zheng A Li, you are really special."

I nod my head and looked at the light of the street lamp outside the window being drenched by the rain. "Thank you, many people say so."

At this time, the radio suddenly sounded a tearing sound, which scared both of us. When I was about to get up to see what's going on, the sweet female voice of DJ came out, with a very gentle voice, saying, "The following is an original song given by a boy named L to his favorite girl. L wants to say to the girl you like that you can be brave without me. Don't give up all the good things in life. You will live a better life than me in the future. Ha ha, what does this mean? It seems that the two are not together. Let's listen to it. The name of this song is very interesting. It's called "Searching Notice"

Then, the prelude to the song sounded. It's the melody of the guitar, fresh and wonderful.

"I like a person who is also called L." He said to the music, what a coincidence, it's all called L.

"When I was 16 years old, I met a girl under the sycamore tree. She was holding a cigarette and wearing a cotton skirt.

Later, every time I met her, I was so nervous that I avoided it. I knew that she just wanted to pretend that she was bad because there was no love.

I met a girl under the sycamore tree when I was 16 years old in winter. She still smoked and wore a thick cotton-padded jacket.

I think it's time to say hi to her, although I'm afraid that she'll let me get out of here."

......

The effect of the radio is not very good, but you can still clearly hear the voice of this shallow singing boy is like the clear and gentle running water in the empty valley, pure without a trace of impurities, which is so beautiful that it is heartbreaking. But the sadness that the melody reveals is very contradictory to his voice.

It's obviously a beautiful thing, why does it make people feel extremely desperate?

Are you an angel or a demon? Are you in heaven or hell? His voice once gave me this illusion.

"I grew up with him. I'm three years older than him. So when he was in junior high school, I went to college, and he was a sophomore after graduating from college. When I was a child, I rode a bicycle to take him to school, and the feeling was very simple. I don't think I knew I liked him at that time. The landlord's voice stood up and was very similar to the male voice on the radio, which inexplicably added a sense of sadness. I don't know if it's because of the rainstorm or our mood that affects us.

"You two are still childhood sweethearts, very romantic. And then? Does the girl know that you like her?

"He later learned that I like him, too. In fact, he liked me a long time ago, and he deliberately fell in love with others to make me angry. But I was not enlightened at that time. Now I know that I like him, but he has lived in someone else's heart. This feeling is very uncomfortable. Something happened to his family, and I was stabbed to help him deal with it. In fact, sometimes I don't want to admit that I am a person who can't measure myself. I can't help him."

His voice was getting smaller and smaller, and almost drowned in the shallow singing boy on the radio. Their voices were confused, and I couldn't tell who was who.

It's very pleasant to tell the truth.

"I took her hand and finally went to the future. I told her that there would be no more haze in her world in the future.

She nodded and grabbed my hand tightly and walked all the way.

I also naively thought that I would lead her to the end of time, forever.

The journey is too long, and I was too confused when I was young. The night is foggy, and the more time goes by, the more we make us all vicissitudes.

I can even forget when she is lost. But I remember that I have been holding her hand and never letting go.

Now where am I going to find her? I forgot her name and I don't know her address. I don't have her photos and number.

......

The sound of the guitar perfectly integrates his voice. In this quiet rainy night, it is very touching and warm. I think what this boy wants to save now is not a relationship. But he is going to be free. He sings the last song in the world and gives it to the girl he likes, but he doesn't know if that person will hear it.

"Zheng Ae Li, you are really special. Aren't you curious about why I kiss with such a woman?" A question he suddenly threw out caught me off guard.

But I want to say that I'm not that curious. I just think it's too normal for a PLAYBOY like you to do those things. Practice technology, isn't it?

I don't talk, let him finish.

"I have kissed many women, even men. But it's hard to find the feeling when kissing you. Not only that, but when talking or doing something with you, you will feel that you are different from others. Just like when I first saw you."

"Did you see me for the first time? The time we filmed in winter?"

"I didn't expect you to remember. I remember that you didn't look at my face at that time, no matter how close the cameraman wanted us to get. That's not the first time. The first time was when I was in my senior year of high school, you were in the second year of junior high school. The rain that day was as heavy as today. I saw you grab the umbrella of your male classmate at the school gate. All people basically have parents to pick me up. You are standing alone in the rain, lonely, but with a stubborn face. I am very impressed. Later, I heard that I didn't know your name until I heard that you were at the level of your level.

I was speechless. I really didn't know what to say. I spit out a few words for a long time, "Oh, thank you."

What a bullshit. Those bastards must have made fun of me at that time. However, it has been a long time, and I don't know who to blame now. I just can't imagine that the landlord and I are still alumni. In this way, the girl he likes should also be from our school. I don't know if I know her.

"Will she also look for me? She doesn't have my name, address, photo and number.

Do you think I will find her again? She is afraid of loneliness and darkness and struggle. You said I would find her again, and I'm really worried about leaving her alone.

I said that I won't find her again. Maybe she is used to loneliness, darkness and fear. I think I can't find her anymore, because someone may struggle with her.

She will slowly forget me and everything, and I will slowly forget her, because I am about to evaporate from this world.

After

, it will disappear. Forever, goodbye."

......

The more I hear this song, the more I feel that the singer is saying goodbye to the world, because I hear that his vitality is gradually losing, little by little, bit by little...

"So, you have been premeditated to know me?"

"It can be said."

We didn't talk anymore, and the song "Revelation" is still playing intermittently on the radio. The clear boys with almost disillusioned suffocating voices are bewitched by the ears of us insomnia on a rainy night. I don't think this group is huge, and there will certainly be much more happy people who sleep peacefully.