Twelve, you are not a kingfish

At the end of the game, all the people left one after another. Only she and I naturally sat on the card table and played mahjong. We must be thinking about how to break this dull and guilty air mask.

"You..." We spoke almost at the same time, stopped at the same time, and then smiled one after another. The martial arts novel said, "A smile is full of kindness and hatred." Sure enough, it's true. What's more, there is no hatred between me, only apology, no kindness, only commitment.

"How have you been recently?" I know that I must have a bad time. I know that something must have happened. Otherwise, why would she, who has always been strong enough to kill tears, sink into a real slave?

She smiled bitterly, and in this smile, I really understood her. In order not to worry about the people who love her, she has always pretended to be very strong. In order not to let others see her fragility, she deliberately learned to be strong. In fact, she needs someone to care about her and support her more than any woman. Block the rain...

"Do you know? There is a kind of fish in this world called kingfish. She said: "A kind of scaleless, a kind of scales that by adsorbing small animals as scales, the kingfish that adsorbs small animals will become stronger and stronger, and they will become the king of fish. But when they are old, their own functions will deteriorate, the adsorption ability will decline, and the scales on their bodies will fall off one by one. You can imagine it. The pain at that time was a kind of pain that peeled off from the inside out, and the kind of kingfish without scales could only live an ordinary life. When they met other fish, they would only escape and be bullied by other fish everywhere. She said this, stopped and looked at me.

"If it were you, would you choose to be a scaled fish to bear the pain when you get old or choose to be an ordinary kingfish." She still smiled and didn't ask me to answer, "I just choose to be the scaled kingfish now, because I have too many people I need to protect. I have to absorb a lot of things that you think are useless, adsorbing ** unruly, adsorbing lustful sex, adsorbing alcohol, cigarettes, cards... too much, too much." When I looked at her, there was a trace of tears in the corners of her eyes. She blinked hard, hoping that she could hide the fragile thing that betrayed her soul.

"Maybe you don't have to wait until you are old to bear the pain of peeling the scales. As long as you want, you can put it down, can't you?"

"It's useless. As long as I start, I can't look back. I can't let it go. I can't forgive myself. I almost dare to imagine what I have done now." She lit a cigarette, and the elegant smell of tobacco made her fingers helpless.

"Do you remember the two-month agreement? In fact, I've always wanted to find you, but I..." I don't know how to explain it.

"I know you will definitely find me, but what I don't know is that we can still meet. Maybe fate is to laugh at me. When I see you, I see the former me. I can't face the former me, as if I can't get rid of myself now." She stood up and was ready to turn around and leave: "Forget it, forget it and treat it as if it hasn't happened."

"No, I won't forget it. Can you forget it? Don't be silly. You're running away. You're not the king fish at all. Even so, I want to peel off the scales on your body with love. I watched her pass by me and said to her calmly word by word. I saw a crystal clear thing falling on the floor and splashing into my heart.