Chapter 1 Wake up like a dream
"Hey, Mom, are you and my father? Hey, I'm fine! Well... I'm sorry, Mom, I can't go home for the Spring Festival again this year. Yes, that company is very busy, and then has to work overtime. Well, I know. I can't take care of myself when I'm old. I really don't have this, Mom, I also want to find it, and I also want to get married. Isn't this really inappropriate? Why don't you open it? Mom, don't ask. I'm sure I'll let you know as soon as I have it. OK, I won't tell you. I'll call you next time! I'll hang up, Mom!"
After hanging up the phone, Zhang Duo's mood was extremely depressed. Today is New Year's Day. Theoretically, he is already a 30-year-old man. Although it's only an empty year. But it still made him feel endlessly urgent, depressed and decadent, and even a flash of despair.
It is said that a man stands at 30 years old, but now he is almost out of place to stand. After graduating for several years, I didn't achieve anything, I didn't save money, and my job didn't go well.
He is a salesperson in a large bookstore and barely touches the edge of state-owned enterprises. Because the project belongs to the cultural industry and has financial allocations, it is not the first purpose of the bookstore to make profits. They don't have sales pressure, so naturally they don't have the motivation to work. They just lie on the shelf and read books every day, or chat and play with their mobile phones. And the monthly salary is only fixed, which becomes reasonable.
I can still cheat myself on weekdays. I feel that although I earn less, I finally win in leisure. But as soon as the Spring Festival came, he returned him to his original shape, and his usual happiness instantly became childish and ridiculous. A man who can't make money, no matter how many advantages he has, is not a good man.
Zhang Duo did not dare to go home. He was afraid that his relatives and friends would ask him about his year-end bonus and salary. He was afraid that his family would ask him if he had a girlfriend and urged him to get married. He was afraid of classmate gatherings and watching others, but he was so depressed. In the past, his friends gave him the most evaluation of "talented", but now I'm afraid it's "useless"!
He poured a glass of beer and continued to drink by himself. The rented room is a single room, which looks like seven or eight square meters. It can be put down with a double bed, and there is not much space left. Two couples lived in the two rooms next door. Because they can't cook, they all go out early and come back late, and they usually have no contact.
My parents asked him to buy a house, saying that the family could pay the down payment and let him pay the monthly payment. After calculating the monthly payment of the small apartment and his own salary, his parents always delayed him.
The more Zhang Duo drank, the more sad he became. Thinking about it, he was also full of ambition and passion. When I graduated, I dragged my suitcase to "Pengcheng" to break through the world. Unexpectedly, a few years later, I was hit by the real society and ran back to my hometown and went to the provincial capital to make a living.
"I eat and wait for death, and I have no ambition." This is what one of his distant elders said to him with slanted eyes after drinking. At that time, he did not refute, but only smiled bitterly. So what if you are ambitious? It's not that he didn't have ideals, but it's a pity that he quit later.
"The bad luck, the fate is bad, Feng Tang is old, and Li Guang is difficult to seal." The horse has a journey of thousands of miles, and no one can't go. People have the ambition of Lingyun, and they can't achieve it without luck." The dragon did not meet and hid between the fish and shrimp. When a gentleman loses, he bows his hand to the villain. Zhang Duo often encouraged himself with this, and often recited those poems and articles with a sense of his background after drinking, in exchange for a drunkenness and an incomparable headache when he woke up the next day.
When he woke up, it was dark around. He did not open his eyes, closed his eyes and reached out to touch the mobile phone by the pillow. He has to go to work during the day. He depends on the time to decide whether to get up or sleep for a while.
Zhang Duo also slept in a daze and reacted a little slowly. Reaching out to touch the pillow was the mobile phone. When he touched it, he didn't touch it. Then he touched it and came to the bedside. His heart was a little hairy. He said to himself, "Is he dreaming? Although he has always been sleepless, he is also eager to have a pillow person, so he has always slept in a double bed and will definitely not sleep all night and become a single person!
He groped to turn on the light, but the scene in front of him stunned him. This is still his single room. It is clear that he is eager to return to his home in his dream but dare not go back! It's just that there seems to be something missing in this room, right? Zhang Duo was a little confused, but he didn't think about how he would be here. Subconsciously put his finger in his mouth. Just as he was about to bite, the door creaked open, but Zhang's mother came in. Zhang Duo was shocked and stuck to the wall.
Zhang's mother came into the room and saw Zhang Duo sticking to the wall and putting her fingers in her mouth. She looked shocked and was about to bite. She couldn't help laughing and said, "Silly child, sleepy. I'm a high school student from today on. Why are you still like a child and eating your fingers?"
"High school?" Zhang Duo was a little puzzled. Looking at Zhang's mother in her thirties in front of him, a strange idea couldn't help but flash into his mind, "Is it possible that I... have been reborn?"
Zhang's mother took her son's hand and patted him with a smile, "Don't bite, stupid son, you won the first middle school. It's not a dream."
"I'm so happy, too." Zhang Duo covered up samaisely
"It's still early. Let's sleep a little longer. Mom will call you after breakfast. I'm going to report today. I'm busy!" Zhang's mother felt that Zhang Duo was a little strange today, but she didn't pay much attention to it. At that time, it was not now. The concept of rebirth was deeply rooted in people's hearts. No matter how rich Zhang's imagination was, she could not think of the memory of her son in front of her for more than ten years, so she turned around and went out.
Zhang Duo nodded randomly, looked at Zhang's mother who walked out, and unconsciously put his hand in his mouth, "Ah!"
It's true that I bit it this time. Looking at the row of deep tooth marks, Zhang Duo was a little flustered, happy and at a loss.
"Are I really reborn? Is it a dream now, or is it a big dream over there?
He felt really panicked and his mind was in a mess. He is barely a materialist and always feels that life is too short. Compared with the long history, not to mention the waves in just decades, not even the drops of water. Whoever remembers his past life can really have an afterlife. Since everything will be forgotten, there is no difference between the previous life and the afterlife. People die like a lamp. Let's make do with it! He often says that to himself.
It's not that he, who has been based on novels as his spirit over the years, has never had the good idea of rebirth. It's all when he is most frustrated, his life is in a mess, and his emotional life is miserable. But the reality is always like the lottery he insisted on buying, giving himself hope while constantly disappointing himself. But in the current scene, 29 years of faith collapsed. He felt a little at a loss and was afraid that he would suddenly wake up. The world became the same again and found that he was just a big dream.
Zhang Duo hugged the quilt tightly and muttered like an abnormal spirit, and slowly calmed down. He slowly closed his eyes and whispered to himself, "I want to sleep. When I wake up again, the outside world will become a beautiful new world." The body twitched slightly, and a tear slowly flowed from the corners of his eyes.
Zhang Duo lay in a daze. I don't know how long it took, but his nose was pinched by a small hand. When he opened his eyes, he saw the little sister Zhang Tong. His sister has been smart and cute since she was a child. She should have been loved by her parents. Unfortunately, most of the rural areas are more patriarchal than girls, although her father always says that girls are sons. But he knew that his parents loved him far more than his little sister.
It's also strange. Zhang Duo sometimes thinks that how can he smoke more and more like a canned bastard? When he was a child, he was also a clean and beautiful little boy, and he would pick up a good mouth. The bigger he is, the more ordinary he looks, and he can't say a word, which often angers Zhang's father half to death.
When the little girl saw Zhang Duo in a daze, she shook her hand and pinched her nose and said, "Brother, aren't you pinched by me for lack of oxygen?"
Zhang Duo knocked off his sister's hand and said angrily, "While playing, little girl."
"Hmm, what's the spirit!" The little girl wrinkled her nose and raised her chin and left angrily.
Looking at his sister who went out, Zhang Duo couldn't help smiling, but his nose was a little sore. My sister is three years younger than her. She has been close to herself since she was a child, and he is also willing to coax her to play. The brother and sister have never quarreled since they were young. When they were young, their family was poor. The brother and sister ate an ice cream. You take a bite, I take a bite. If relatives give something good for their sister, they will definitely remember to keep it for their brother. What happened to Zhang Duo? The little girl never complained and only pleaded for him. Every time her father wanted to beat himself, before the slap fell, she cried first. I never grab TV from myself, but I often wash apples and eat when I watch TV. After being away from home for so many years, I seldom eat apples.
Over the years, she has been very bad outside, and it is often her sister who helps herself and racks her brains to maintain her brother's poor dignity. My sister always calls her parents and says, "You can buy a house for my brother. How can he find a partner and get married if he doesn't have a house?" Thinking of this, Zhang Duo felt so much that he wanted to cry.
Suddenly, Zhang's father's voice talking to his mother sounded outside, "Is my son awake?"
"Dad, my brother woke up early and can't afford it!" This kind of insignificant report is the little girl's favorite.
Zhang Duo wanted to laugh, but heard Zhang's father say, "Who can let him sleep more? He has to be very busy today. Don't disturb your brother." The little girl snorted and stopped talking.
Zhang Duo couldn't lie down, so he simply got up and put on his clothes. Black suit trousers, white shirt, plus a pair of leather shoes of more than 100 pieces. That was the first pair of leather shoes bought for him by his father. In his previous life, he took them with him for more than ten years. I don't know how many times he repaired them and never gave up throwing them away. After cleaning up, he also looked much more energetic and turned out of the house.
Seeing that my parents and sister are busy in the kitchen, there are already several ready meals on the table. I couldn't help saying, "Why do you do more in the morning? I can't eat much.
Father Zhang turned around and said, "How can that work? Today is the day you go to the No. 1 Middle School to report. My son is so promising, but you should celebrate it well."
Zhang's mother smiled and said, "Lao Zhang, have you figured out whether it's your son or my son?" It turned out that Zhang's father was a very happy person and was a person with great face. Otherwise, he would not have gone from being poor at the time of marriage to a rich family in a village praised by ten miles and eight villages.
In the past, every time Zhang Duo took the first place in the exam, Zhang's father was proud and showed off everywhere. How my son was, he was overjoyed. If you have bad grades or cause any trouble, you will scold Zhang's mother. If you look at your prodigal son, you can spoil it. I think you can get used to something. In fact, he spoils Zhang Duo more than anyone else. Everyone knows Zhang's father's consistent performance and can't help laughing.
Zhang's father didn't mind at all and hugged Zhang Duo's head, "Of course it's my son. He looks more like me. Can't he be admitted to No. 1 Middle School!" This time, everyone laughed even more. It turned out that Zhang's father was very stubborn when he went to school and only went to the sixth grade of primary school.
After Zhang Duo washed, the food was ready. The family sat down at the table, and Zhang's father asked, "Son, can I have a bottle?" Unlike other adults who don't allow their children to drink, Zhang's father is different. He is not good at drinking. He always hopes that his son can drink more and always watches his son drink beer happily.
Before Zhang Duo answered, the little girl Zhang Tong rushed to say, "I'll get the beer." He threw down his chopsticks and ran away. Soon, he took out a bottle of beer, but the other one had an extra bottle of juice.
Zhang Duo said with a smile, "The little girl turned out to be a fake public benefit!"
"Help you get the beer and talk about me, hum!" The little girl was dissatisfied
Zhang Duo poured beer for his father and himself, and his mother and little sister also poured juice. Zhang's father raised his glass and said, "Today is the day for his son to report to the city No. 1 Middle School. His son is really promising this time. In two months, he has improved from more than a dozen in the grade to the first place in the grade, the third in the county in the senior high school entrance examination, and was also admitted to the city No. 1 Middle School. In the future Keep working hard and don't be proud. Fight for a good university in the future and be nominated on the gold list. Cheers!"
My father's words made Zhang Duo think a lot. Many years later, when he failed again and again, he couldn't help thinking that if I had not been so successful in the middle school entrance examination, maybe my life would be different. Before that, Zhang Duo was a diligent and solid child, but the success of the high school entrance examination made him proud. He always felt that he must be smart enough. From then on, he always thought he was smart and refused to be diligent. Unfortunately, he was no longer lucky in the middle school entrance examination.
Well, even if God gave me this poor and hateful dream, or I just had a nightmare before. In short, I must do something in this life.
"Do it!" Zhang Duo raised his neck and drank a glass of beer. As the saying goes, Zhang's father suddenly felt that his son, who usually couldn't kick a fart with three feet, was still a little heroic and dry when drinking. He said, "Son, have another drink!"
Zhang's mother complained, "Just recruit children to drink, and so is this child. Drink slowly. What should I do if I choked?"
Zhang Tong was a little star in front of her. Suddenly, she felt that her brother had become handsome, but she still hummed, "It's still not as good-looking as me."
Looking at my father's warm and eager eyes, my mother's satisfied and happy look, my sister's appearance is a little worshipful, and all kinds of things flashed like a movie scene in my previous life. When I entered high school, I was full of complacency when I was rejected by a girl I liked, and I was muddled when I was smart and refused to work hard. When I failed in the college entrance examination Depression, father's anger and gloom, mother's disappointment and silence, sister's crying and panic, muddle-over in college, full of ambition and high spirits when he first entered the society, and years later he was oppressed by reality to survive and be insensitive. The image became faster and faster, and finally his eyes gradually blurred.