Extra, the monologue of "the shrew"

I only said that I was unlucky in my life and could only live in this shabby pork shop. Thinking of my girl's eighteen flowers, sinking fish and falling geese closing moon shy flowers Sai Xishi, Yang Yuhuan is only worthy of lifting shoes for me. But this damn God is very unfair. Such a beautiful flower of mine fell on the butcher's house.

At this moment, Liu Er, who bought meat, walked to the chopping board.

"Boss's wife, a catty of pork belly." Liu Er said.

Hu Sanniang gently lifted it up and smiled gently at Liu Er. The ancients said that the beauty was charming with a smile, and Li Guinian wrote: There are beautiful women in the north, peerless and independent. Looking at the city, and then looking at the country, I would rather not know the country and the city, and it is rare for a beautiful woman. What's more, Cao Zhi wrote: Its shape is as graceful as a dragon. Rongyao autumn chrysanthemum, Huamao spring pine. It's like a light cloud covering the moon, floating like the snow of the wind. Looking at it from afar, it is as bright as the sun rising in the morning glow; forced to detect it, as if it burns out of the waves. It is delicate and delicate, and it is short-term. If the shoulder is cut, the waist is as simple. The neck is stretched, and the quality is exposed. Fangze is not added, and the lead Huafu is royal. Yunji E'e, trimming eyebrows and Lianjuan. The red lips are bright outside, the teeth are fresh inside, and the bright eyes are favored, and the right is favored. Gorgeous and elegant, quiet and leisurely. Soft and charming. Strange clothes are unrivaled, and the bones are in the picture. The glory of Piluo's clothes, and the glory of Yiyao. Wear Jincui's jewelry and decorate the pearl to show off the body. Practice the literary performance of a long journey, and the light train of the fog. The fragrance of the faint orchid is kind, walking in the corners of the mountain. So he suddenly indulged in his body and played with him. Reclining on the left and osmanthus flag on the right. Hao's wrist is in the gods, picking the Xuanzhi of the turbulent. In the face of beauty, talents usually behave like this: their feelings are pleasing and beautiful, and their hearts are oscillating and unhappy. The unscrupulous media picks up the joy and communicates with the microwave. May you be the first to be the first to get rid of the jade pendant. The faith of a beautiful woman is cultivated, and she learns etiquette and poetry. Anti-Qiongyu to give Xi, pointing to the abyss for a period of time. The style of the people's house is real, and they are afraid of the bullying of the spirit. Feeling the abandonment of words, hesitant and suspicious. Collect the harmony and be calm, and apply etiquette and guard to be self-contained.

Wu Laoer next to Aunt Baiyun reacted like this: Wu Laoer trembled all over at a glance.

And facing the "beauty" in front of him smiling at himself, Liu Er suddenly seemed to have passed the electricity. Well, there was no electricity in that era. Liu Er felt like a hundred burning candles directly on his body with flames.

Liu Er's scalp was numb and he fainted.

Wang Laosan looked next to him and saw that he was electrocuted by his daughter-in-law. It happened that there were materials for pork buns at noon today. Therefore, Wang Laosan dragged Liu Er into the inner hall.

Hu Sanniang suddenly felt sad and thought that her natural beauty actually harmed a human life because of her beauty. Sure enough, beauty is a disaster. Thinking about those centuries later, Wu Jingye wrote: A pearl with thousands of sorrows, Guanshan drifts with thin waist and limbs. Wrong complaints, wind and falling flowers, boundless spring comes to the world. After hearing about the country and the city, Zhou Lang was renamed. How can a wife make a big plan? The hero is helpless and affectionate. The whole family's white bones turned into ashes, and the red makeup shines with sweat. Don't you see, the girl in the museum is not enough to see enough like a flower. The fragrant path is black and cry, and the people in the corridor go to the moss and green. Change feathers and move the palace for thousands of miles of sorrow, singing and dancing in ancient Liangzhou. Don't sing Wu Gongqu for you, Hanshui flows day and night in the southeast!

I actually have the same disease as the beauty centuries later. Hey, I don't blame these men. Who can not love this beauty?

Hu Sanniang thought about it, and her eyes were wet, and she burst into tears. At this moment, the neighbor Li Si came over. I just wanted to ask if today's water had been sold. Before she opened her mouth, Hu Sanniang looked up and looked at him with tears.

Okay, it doesn't matter. Li Si suddenly had a feeling of five thunderstorms.

Li Bai once said: The beauty rolled the bead curtain and sat deeply on the moth eyebrows. But when I saw the tears wet, I didn't know who I hated. The Book of Song once said: hands are as soft, skin is like condensed fat, collars are like dragonflies, teeth are like rhinoceros heads and moth eyebrows, smiling cleverly! Beautiful eyes! Song Yu wrote in "Deng Tuzi's lustful Fu": the son of the host family, if one point is increased, it is too long, and if one point is reduced, it is too short; if it is pink, it is too white, and Shi Zhu is too red; the eyebrows are like green feathers, and the muscles are like white snow; the waist is like a bundle, and the teeth are like shellfish; with a smile, confused Yangcheng, confused Cai. Li Si once said: Go to your (milk) (milk) legs.

This eye is enough to make three immortals flying in the sky fall down. This eye is enough to make the five monsters running underground become Buddhas. This eye is enough to make the east wind overwhelm the west wind and the west wind is powerless to resist. What a great glance! It comes from a great moment and comes from a great person.

Li Siyi waved his hand, and I don't want it!

As soon as Li Si left, Hu Sanniang's sadness immediately deepened. She walked to the water tank and looked down at the water in the water tank. The water reflected the face of Hu Sanniang like a mirror.

The high and narrow forehead, if you don't look at it with a magnifying glass, you can hardly see the existence of eyebrows. That pair of phoenixes have no demeanor in their eyes. The bridge of the nose collapses. It is said that if the pig's gallbladder and nose are matched with cheekbones, they will be favored by their husbands. The husband and wife are affectionate, and they can help their husband's wishes in middle age. But I didn't see this feature at all in Hu Sanniang's body. The two huge nostrils turned to the sky dissatisfied and seemed to be angry with the sky. As for the mouth, let's put it this way, if there is no ear to block the mouth, it may fly to the South Pole or the North Pole.

How many customers have been scared away by such a "sinking fish and falling geese, closing the moon and shy flowers"? According to the author's guess, the reason why Wang Laosan is so afraid of Hu Sanniang is probably that Hu Sanniang will force himself to look at him, right? Or, Hu Sanniang's torture is not to kneel on the board, but to let her husband say to her, "I love you?"

This Hu Sanniang suddenly came up with a tough meaning and suddenly ran to the street. She shouted to God, "God, why did you give me such a beautiful face?"

I only heard a "kaka" thunder that woke up the soul of Sanqin. A flash flew across the sky, and then there was a "kaka" sound. The thunder suddenly hit the big tree beside Hu Sanniang. Suddenly, the tree fell down. He killed the neighbor's little bitch's beloved husband dog.

This is really a bolt from the blue. Hu Sanniang shook her head helplessly and sighed softly, "Poor beauty, 300 years forward and 300 years later, only I was born in heaven and earth. In the past and future generations, no one can match..."

As soon as the words fell, it suddenly began to rain heavily in the clear sky - the old weather cried.

Hu Sanniang scared Liu Er to death. Liu Er was taken by Wang Laosan and chopped into human meat buns, and the human meat buns were sold again. The people who ate them had diarrhea and had nightmares immediately spread to the ears of the county magistrate.

The county magistrate was still young and vigorous at that time. Fang Guihe was just Sun Ji's daughter-in-law, and Cui Wen and others had not yet entered the industry. In a word, it is all caused by ignorance.

Although he did not trust the dream, Liu Er's disappearance was true, and the person who ate Wang Laosan's steamed bun and had diarrhea was also true. These people who buy steamed buns don't even think about why a meat seller in Wang Laosan's family suddenly changed his job to sell steamed buns? And the fire was withdrawn after only three days of supply? It is said that even steamed buns are borrowed.

In order to fill in his great achievements, the county magistrate immediately set out to go to the Wang family to investigate the matter in person. They all said that he would see the third woman Sai Dongshi.

So, the county magistrate got on the sedan chair, expressionless, and set out for the Wang family one after another.

The county magistrate's travel is very grand. There are gongs and drums in front of him, and there must be a shout in the mouth of the soldiers who open the road. This shout is neither high or low, neither long or short, straight into the hearts of the people. Only the soldiers shouted, "The imperial army does not grab food, and the imperial army does not rob the flower girl..." (It turned out later that this guy traveled through the past and was an extra and a traitor professional before wearing it. Later, he was killed by the county magistrate.)

The people are surprised. Isn't the county magistrate's slogan "avoidance and mighty" in the past? Why did it change to "The imperial army does not grab grain?" The imperial army doesn't rob the flower girl?" With doubts, a group of onlookers who were like-minded, sympathetic, in the same boat, in love, heart-to-heart, and in common, quickly followed the county magist's sedan chair.

The vast crowd, like grabbing free food, soon walked to the door of Hu Sanniang's house. Coincidentally, the pork shop closed on this day. Hu Sanniang was pitiing herself in the mirror in the inner room. Suddenly, she caught a glimpse of the bird on the wall. Hu Sanniang frowned and asked softly, "Am I so beautiful?"

As soon as the bird heard this, he fell down along the eaves without breathing, and fell into a half. So he regretted it for life. When he was young and ignorant, why did he fall in front of Hu Sanniang's house?

While talking, the county magistrate came to the door of Hu Sanniang's house with a crowd of onlookers. The county magistrate came down from the sedan chair, and the government official knocked on the door. Everything is completed like a flowing stream. Wang Laosan came out to open the door and saw a lot of officials. He was so scared that his feet were weak and his tongue was knotted. He immediately remembered that he might not like the county magistrate's daughter-in-law standing in front of him. Wang Laosanxin said that in less than ten hours, it spread to the ears of the county magistrate? This is the man who killed thousands of knives and had a rotten tongue said. Note: Look at Wang Laosan, his heart is like water in front of a beautiful woman, which is deplorable and lamentable!)

"Wang Laosan, the county magistrate came in person, why don't you pick him up?" The servist shouted.

In this voice, Mr. Wang's feet softened. If it hadn't been for the door frame against his back, he would have fallen to the ground.

When the county magistrate saw that Wang Laosan was scared into this virtue, he gave the government official a wink.

"Wang Laosan, let me ask you, did you kill Liu Er?" The servist shouted.

Where can Wang Laosan talk? At this moment, Hu Sanniang in the room heard the scolding and immediately put down the mirror and handkerchief and came out.

As soon as Hu Sanniang appeared, everyone couldn't help retreating.

Hu Sanniang suddenly said, "Who the fuck slanders our family?"

The county magistrate came up with a mouthful of phlegm and suddenly heard Hu Sanniang's heavenly male duck voice shouting. Suddenly, the phlegm stuck in the trachea, and his eyes suddenly turned white and fell to the ground with a "coo" sound.

When Hu Sanniang saw another person's breath, she couldn't help bursting into tears and sighing, "God, why did you give me such a beautiful appearance?"

Suddenly, the rainstorm rained.

After a rescue, the county magistrate returned to the sun. After opening his eyes, he vomited two words in the first sentence: "Twives." Since then, Hu Sanniang has been famous in all over the world!