Chapter 69 Worry.

However, I don't have the ability to control my fate, but things are constantly moving towards the worst side, and all this is not what I want. I have my last choice, and I have grievances that I can't say. I, who have become a betrayer of our love and bear the guilt of being unrighteous, are actually more painful than you who have been hurt. Because I was misunderstood by you, because I see you are sad, but I want to leave cruelly. The kind who wants to dry your tears and don't let you continue to be hurt, the kind who wants to tell you everything, but another The feeling that you can't say a word is really tormenting, and you who have never experienced it will not understand the pain.

But now, what should I do? When I first came, I wanted to go back, and I was about to go crazy, but I was suppressed by myself. I kept doing my psychological counseling homework and told myself that all this would pass and be forgotten. Now, just as I have gradually adapted to everything here, and my heart has gradually calmed down, God joked with me and gave me a chance to go back. However, the worries in my heart are her biggest obstacle, and they have not become smaller and faded with the passage of time. And if we accidentally meet each other, what kind of expression should I use now to face you who have been hurt by me? Should I greet you with a smile, say polite words, haven't seen you for a long time, or pretend to have forgotten you, and then quietly look back at you after passing by... ...

I seemed to be real for a while, but there was no answer.

Forget it, the more you think about it, the more chaotic it is, and the more uneasy it is. So, shake your head and don't think about it first.

Look at the watch, it's not early. It's so late. It's time to go back. After reorganizing her mood, she began to go home with peace of mind. She couldn't worry the Williams.

When she got home, she was just in time for dinner, but looking at the table of rich food, she suddenly had no appetite at all. I don't even have the strength to install it.

So, in Mr. and Mrs. William's doubtful eyes, he smiled faintly and said that he had no appetite, so he went upstairs and returned to his room.

"Kka!" Close the door with a sound. If you are worried, you can also be isolated outside the door with a crisp sound. What a pity............

Throw the bag casually aside, and then sit heavily **.

After calmed down, her thoughts involuntarily ran there, and the problem that had been bothering her began to bother her again.

"Alas..." I can't help sighing. What should I do? This happened so suddenly that she was not psychologically prepared at all. No, she actually didn't expect such a thing to happen at all. For a while, she was really surprised.

Looking at the bookshelf in front of her, she attracted her attention by pressing a light blue cover notebook above. She got up and walked to the bookshelf, pulled out the familiar book, and slowly opened it. There was a photo in it.

That was the only photo of Mu Junhao in her mobile phone. She pressed the removal button in her hand, but refused to press it. In the end, she still kept it. She comforted herself and said that it was good as a memory. After all, she had loved him, so she printed it out, and then lost her mobile phone and lost it. Everything.

"Mu Junhao..." gently stroked the old photo and said at ease, "How are you doing?"

But now I find that what should be discarded is still intact here.

And if I go back, how should I face you? Repeat the same mistake, is it to rewrite our ending, or just let us get hurt again?

Chaos, chaos, chaos.

When I go back, I have concerns, worries, and I don't know what to do. If I don't go back, I'm unwilling, and I feel uncomfortable.

What the hell should we do? Who can help me............

"Knock! Knock! Knock!" At this time, the door was suddenly knocked.

Paid the photo back to its original place and said at ease, "Please come in!"

And it was Mrs. William who entered the door. She turned around and closed the door. She looked at Anxin with a concerned face and said, "What's wrong?"

It made her worried that she didn't have dinner, and her strange look today also made her worried.

"I..." Looking at Mrs. William, who had always regarded her as her closest relative, she was relieved to lie, but at this time, her mind was in a mess and she didn't know what to say, so she could only sigh in the end.

Seeing this, Mrs. William touched her reassuring head. She said, "Is there anything bothering my baby?"

Sit down by the bed with Mrs. William and said slowly, "My boss was transferred to a branch in China, and he asked me to go there with him."

A little surprised that it would happen. Mrs. William was stunned. She didn't expect that An An would be transferred to China. However, after coming to her senses, she smiled and congratulated, "That's good! It's a good thing to go back to your motherland!"

Yes! If she is an ordinary wanderer, she will be very happy to have the opportunity to return to China to work. However, she is not such a person, because she has a different past. She fled here from her motherland.

Seeing that Anxin was silent, she asked doubtfully, "Don't you want to go back?"

Shake her head. No, it's not that she doesn't want to go back. She also wants to go back, but she is just a little scared. She is afraid that Mu's father will find out and then hurt Su Tianyi.

I couldn't help sighing that after so many years, I don't know how he was doing. At that time, she walked in such a hurry that she didn't even look at Su Tianyi and left. Now that I think about it, I'm really worried.

But is it not just one person who is worried? Mu Junhao worried her even more, because when she left, he had not woken up from the anesthetic of the operation. When she woke up, she didn't see him protecting herself and stayed in front of the bed. Isn't it very sad? Very disappointed?

But I really didn't mean to leave you. God knows how much I want to stay with you and how much I don't want to be separated from you for the rest of my life, but I have no choice. What's the use of sighing again? The injury has been given. What's the excuse? Even if you don't want to, the scar was cut by yourself.

Seeing Anxin's reaction, Mrs. William opened her mouth again and asked tentatively, "Do you want to go back?"

nodded, but he shook his head again. He wanted to go back, but he couldn't go back. Now he won't go. He was unwilling. After going back, he was worried. Therefore, in the end, what was unlucky was his suffering heart.

"I want to go back, but I don't want to go back, I don't want to go back, I want to go back."

Mrs William can now speak of peace of mind. She is now in conflict and doesn't know what to do. She is very worried.

With this sentence, the atmosphere suddenly fell silent.

Peace of mind fell into a constant struggle again, and Mrs. William also seemed to fall into some kind of thought.

It turned out that it would be so hesitant to make a decision, but what should we do? Is there any best way to do it? She can go back and ensure Su Tianyi's safety. Now, she doesn't expect to have the opportunity to continue her relationship with Mu Junhao. I just want to go back and have a look, but at this time, some kind of questioning voice came again. Is it really dead? If you die, why do you want to go back again and again? If you really don't care, it doesn't matter. Isn't it the same to live there? Isn't it all home?

Besides, there are also William and his wife who are like their own daughters, and their good friends from college who have been in contact now. There is no such person when they return to their own country. They are completely alone. They don't have such a good person or friends. After going back, in addition to having a job, She has to start all over again, her interpersonal care needs to get along slowly, and her friends have to make new friends. Compared with her, she will find that it would be better not to go.

So, her heart has not died, she has never died, she has just been frozen by herself. She seems to have been waiting for an opportunity, and this change is the best one. But............

At a time of peace of mind, Mrs. William, who had been quiet for a long time, suddenly said, "Son, do you remember that you have lived here for several years?" After being quiet for a long time

nodded and said at ease, "Four years, two months and six days."

As soon as I opened my mouth, I found that I remembered it so clearly. It was not a rough number that I just said it clearly. It turned out that I remembered it so clearly.

Seeing that Anxin was a little surprised, Mrs. William beside her immediately smiled and said, "Isn't she incredible? Unexpectedly, I remember the days when I came here so clearly.

Yes, I remember so clearly, doesn't this mean that I don't really regard this place as a home in my potential consciousness, because if I really regard this place as a harbor, I won't remember this so clearly. My behavior seems to be like counting my days, just like, Looking forward to something.

"I..." Suddenly, I didn't know what to say, and it seemed that I couldn't face Mrs. William who treated me sincerely.

smiled and Mrs. William said, "Do you remember how many times you have laughed these days?"

This... is blurred. She doesn't remember how many times she has laughed, but she feels that she should have laughed many times. It should not be counted. However, she looked at Mrs. William who said this sentence doubtfully and asked this question.

"Then I'll tell you! You have only laughed once.

How can it be! Anxin absolutely doesn't believe that she has only smiled sincerely once in the past four years. She usually smiles, even to strangers.

She didn't care that Anxin would show an expression of disbelief. She continued: "The only smile was when you were admitted to college, and the rest could not be regarded as a smile. Although you often put a smile on your face, it was already a disguise for you." At this time, she raised her hand and slowly stroked her relieved cheek and said, "The bigger the smile on your face, the more sad your eyes will be, and after that only smile, you will cry fiercely."