Chapter 5 Tears

A few months have passed, and the college entrance examination is approaching. All the senior high school students are reviewing nervously, fantasizing that they can also fly to the sky, get into a good university, and leap into the "Dragon Gate".

At this time, I learned that Yaer dropped out of school and she didn't take the college entrance examination...

I was a little uncomfortable. I returned to the previous calmness. Suddenly, there was no concern in my heart, and I felt as if something was missing. I know I'm still thinking about Yaer. After all, we have been used to each other's existence this year.

One day, my friend said to me, "Feng, I envy you very much. There is a girl who is so persistent for you."

I smiled and said no: "What do you mean? I don't understand..."

"Ya'er! You don't know, do you? It seemed that someone was chasing her, but she said that there was a person in her heart who was still waiting for him to come back, so she couldn't pretend to be someone else. The friend seemed to be a little surprised by my lull reaction.

"Real? ..." I didn't continue this topic.

Of course I know that she is talking about Ya'er, and of course I know that the person in Ya'er's mouth is me, but even so, I don't want to show it on my face, although there seems to be a trace of joy in my heart...

I like to open QQ to surf the Internet in the middle of the night, chat, and find my lost self in the illusory online world. In fact, I'm a person who likes to lie to myself. I can't deceive the whole world, but I cheated myself first...

A message dialog box popped up, which was Yaer's message: "Feng, I'm leaving! Go to a far away..."

When I saw that she was not online, I replied to a message and thought that even if she received the message, I was no longer there. I tapped on the keyboard and jumped a few words from my fingers, "Oh, where are you going?" Why don't you take the college entrance examination? Then I turned off the message box and went to browse the web.

For a moment, the message prompt of "Didi Didi" sounded. I opened it naturally. When I saw it, my heart suddenly twitched. Because it was Yaer's, she was always there, but she was invisible...

"College entrance examination? Forget it, I'll see you again when I go to school. I won't take the exam. I want to leave this city. Maybe I can forget you in a different environment..." This is Yaer's reply.

"..." I was silent and looked at the flashing words on the screen. The feeling of heartache that I haven't seen for a long time came again. Why does Yaer always make me feel heartache?

I turned off QQ and didn't reply to Yaer's news, and I was in a much worse mood...

One night a few days later, I was bored at home watching the commercials on TV in a daze. The phone that had been ringing more than a dozen times came again. I rushed to the phone boredly, picked up the receiver, and suddenly snapped it off. I know that it's another call from Yaer's friend who asked me to see her off tomorrow. Yaer is really leaving...

I don't know why, I suddenly became very ruthless and turned down all these calls. Suddenly, there was also my good friend, Tingting. What I couldn't even imagine was that I actually lost my temper at Tingting: "Call again! I'm going to curse!!"

Maybe I'm lying to myself, maybe I'm unwilling to accept this fact, maybe I don't want Yaer to leave. In short, I can't explain that feeling, complicated, blank, just irritable.

The phone finally quieted down and stopped ringing. It was late at night, but I was not sleepy and confused. I turned the TV to mute. For a moment, the empty living room became quiet, so quiet that I could hear my heartbeat. I knew that I couldn't send Yaer. I was afraid of her eyes. As for why I was afraid, I didn't know. I could clearly feel that the eyes were very desolate and cold.

As soon as the bell at 12 o'clock in the middle of midnight was ringing, the ringing of the phone once again broke the quiet and terrible atmosphere in the living room. My heart trembled so numbness that I went to the side of the phone and answered it. I wanted to attack, but I hadn't opened my mouth yet. A familiar voice came from there: "Is it wind?"

"Ye-huh." I answered, and suddenly became very well-behaved, quiet, and no longer so violent, because there was Yaer's voice on the other side of the phone. In front of her, I would never be fierce.

"It's so late, why don't you go to bed?" Yaer's voice was a little hoarse, as if she had just cried.

"Oh, I can't sleep. It's a little messy. How about you?" It took me a long time to squeeze out a few words, but I still told the truth.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. I miss you and want you to see me off..." Yaer cried. Finally, she couldn't help but feel excited.

I can't stand her crying. I want to slap myself a few times. What's wrong with me? How can I become such a hard heart now? At least, at least... at least we are still friends...

"Well, okay, you go to bed early. I'll go tomorrow..." I finally made up my mind.

"Really?" At the other end of the phone came Yaer's bursting laughter.

"Ye-huh!"

"..." I hung up the phone and turned off the TV. I went back to my room and sat in front of the window again, looking at the dark night sky. The moonlight sprinkled unscrupulously on my face, reflecting a hazy silver.

I lay on the window sill and smoked one after another. There was an indescribable sadness in my heart. I opened the box left by Yaer again and looked at the bottle of lucky star in a daze...

That year, we just finished the college entrance examination. It was a long summer vacation. However, Yaer did not participate. Because of me, she gave up her studies...