Chapter 7: Unfortunately it's not you 1

Maybe there are some things that can't be let go. Although Xiaochuan said he wanted to give up, he still misses the warmth and the happiness he loved.

March is Xiaochuan's birthday. It's a good day. On White Valentine's Day, I am also very happy with many friends. Friends around me will say happy birthday, and those who are not around will send a text message to congratulate me. Only Xiaowen said nothing. Forget or deliberately ignore, Ogawa doesn't want to think too much, because the more he thinks, the more he will bring himself into deeper despair.

"Just give up like this?" Xiao Meng asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I gave up." Ogawa smiled.

"Then torture yourself?" Xiao Meng shouted angrily.

"Yes." More helpless, from the time I decided to leave, I like to torture myself, busy clubs, busy every day, often eat abnormally, it's not that I don't know that I have stomach problems, but just get used to it, so my stomach hurts faintly every day. Every day I have to hold the quilt and bite my lips to sleep. In my dreams, I will dream of missing, and wake up with tears. Wet pillow. I always want to drink and anesthetize myself with alcohol. I feel sad every day and tired every day. I still fall in love with warmth and want to love myself.

"Why don't you tell him?"

"Tay it to him?"

"Dession, whether you succeed or fail, you always have to give yourself an confession." Xiao Meng persuaded.

"Hm... Let me think about it." Ogawa was a little hesitant, but he didn't have the courage.

"There's nothing you can do if you drag it off like this."

"Okay." Ogawa nodded.

There are few people going to the gymnasium in the school at night. Xiaochuan desperately said to himself to be calm and be brave. You are, you are the fearless Xiaochuan.

[Listen, my following words are definitely not a joke. I like you, and I really like you.]

Xiaochuan trembled and sent the text message. At the end of March, the weather was still very cold, very cold, and the evening wind was piercing. Waiting was actually very painful. Every minute and every second was a kind of torment, and the sadness could not stop. The hands trembled in the wind, and the coldness could not be warm.

[I like you too, but can't you talk about it when you come back?]

Do you really like it or not? Ogawa is tired of waiting. No matter how long he waits, he can't wait to return his love.

[Then please refuse me.]

It's very determined to leave. Can you leave more nostalgia? Maybe one day in the future, you will still think of me. Although we can't be together, at least I will leave a shadow in your heart.

[Why? Can we still be friends?

Tears fell to the ground, cold and decisive, and fell into pieces. I just want to give myself a reason to let go. You have to find those meaningless excuses. Xiaochuan's eyes are blurred, and his heart may be vague. Give up or insist, just a thought.

[Just because we can still be friends, please refuse me.]

Ogawa doesn't dare to read his reply on his mobile phone anymore, which may be more cruel.

I came to pick up my oranges. Xiaochuan rushed over and cried with the orange in his arms. It seems that I haven't cried like this for a long time, as if I have vented all my sadness.

"Don't cry." Orange didn't know how to persuade him for a moment, so he could only let Xiaochuan hold him tightly. Tears wet his clothes and full of sadness.

I don't know how long I cried. Xiaochuan was tired, his eyes were red and swollen. He could no longer shed tears, his heart was tired, and that place could no longer shed sadness.

"I'm fine." Xiaochuan wiped the tears on his cheeks, "Thank you."

"As long as it's okay." Orange smiled bitterly.

"It made your clothes wet."

"It's okay. It's good if you're not sad."

"Ye-huh."

Have you developed the habit of abusing yourself since then? Ogawa asked himself. Don't want to eat when you are sad, and don't take medicine when you have a stomachache.

Maybe love is so complicated. In the end, you can't be a friend, you can only be the most familiar stranger.

In the end, Xiaochuan and Xiaowen finally became strangers and did not contact each other. Maybe this was Xiaochuan's last wish.

You stand still, I'll get out of here. - Xiaochuan's QQ signature.

is the signature for Xiaowen.

It was also from that time that Ogawa was infatuated with games, work, and was busy every day, paralysing the pain in his heart with busyness.

I will miss you when I dream back at midnight. Ogawa writes the words I miss with a pen.

"I always have the impulse to cry when I look through my previous logs! I've been crazy for half a year. I'm not me anymore. I'm calm and a little terrible, cruel and a little ruthless.

In fact, I still dare not face it, I dare not face those who I have loved deeply. Whether it's a person or something.

I want to go back to my previous life, I want to go back to my happy life! There is no love and no love, no sadness, nothing that can't be said, nothing to give up, no cruel to yourself, no cruel to others.

I want to get drunk alone in the middle of the night, cry until tears dry, roar at the sky alone, and have to face nothing.

I also want to turn my head to see those who are still persistent, and I also want to intersect with the past time. Back to that time, I also want to give up my stubbornness, my dignity, and everything in this way. I can't, I can't, I will never allow me to give up my stubbornness, give up my strength, give up my hope,

When I dreamed back at midnight, I hoped that the world would be different from now on, and I hope I could get happiness from now on~~ I won't cry when I wake up, because tears are left to the beauty in my dream.

Remember to give up. I think it's not who I used to be. If I can't grasp it, it's better to let go. Gent let go. I don't want to struggle anymore, and then entangle with the past. Remember to embrace the present instead of clinging to the past. Those are meaningless.

I admit my cruelty, my ruthlessness, my indifference, and I don't want to do anything else. It may be a happy thing to live alone.

Thank you to my friends for being by my side when I am most vulnerable. Thank you for forcing me to be strong when I am most vulnerable. Thank you for the people I have loved to learn to give up. Thank you for the people who have loved me for giving me the hope.

I'm sitting here, I'm alive, I'm crying here, I'm alive, I'm laughing here, I'm alive, all I'm doing is to prove that I'm alive, I've never died, no matter where my heart is, I live well, I've loved well, I've cried well, I've laughed well, I've been drunk, I've given up well, I'm good I'm grateful that I'm alive, that's enough.

It's still the old saying that I hope the people who love me and the people I love are happy. Let me bear the pain alone. You just need to be happy.

is also written to someone. I hope that when the next person who loves you appears, don't be afraid. It's not that you don't love, but don't dare. This is more harmful than not love. If someone gives you happiness, please grab happiness and don't let it pass by. It's better to be sad with two people. It's better for two people to be happy together.