Chapter 17 Steal a sloppy

In fact, if you sleep until you wake up naturally, you will be woken up by urine. Of course, you can also choose not to wake up and dry the quilt the next day. - Zhang Deshuai's quotation

Thursday, July 28, 2011 Cloudy

From the bottom of my heart, I really don't want to come to the funeral home. Why? An ordinary person who goes to the funeral home usually sends money.

As soon as I arrived at the funeral home, I saw big slogans on the wall of the funeral home: "Come to work happily and go home safely", "When the production goes up, the population will drop", "Sight for a municipal civilization number, let youth fly in the cremator" and so on. Anyway, these slogans are so awkward. Personally, I hope that all the big people in the country will eat well, sleep well, have good health, and go to the hospital less. If you have nothing to do, beat the children and scold them on the street. It's better not to fly in the funeral home**.

Not to mention, the environment of the funeral home is really good. Flowers and plants are overgrown, and the unknown fragrance of flowers penetrates into your nose from time to time, attracting your heart to bloom; insects hide in flowers and plants and cry high and low, which is the symphony of insects. The most important thing is that there are few people. Who will come to the funeral home in the middle of the night? If you meet a neighbor who just left two days ago, will you say hello or hello? It's really the best place to travel and fight in the field. The premise is that as long as you are clumsy and can't see those ghosts.

The funeral home has a small room, a room that is open all year round. This room is full of unnamed corpses. Some have been stored in it for many years. And this time my purpose is to go inside and steal a nameless body. Is stealing a body a thief? I'm serving the people.

The patrol of the funeral home is generally very lax. First, there is nothing to steal here. Second, the staff inside usually don't go out and walk around carefully at night. In case he went out and met a day that had just been sent into the cremation furnace, he came up and kindly said that he had a wish not to have world peace but to return to the furnace. Will you agree or not?

So Miao Ruyun and I touched this small room smoothly.

As soon as I opened the door, a cold wind blew out of it. Although it was June, it still made me shiver. A wind formed a small whirlwind in front of me, wrapping a few fallen leaves on the ground and spinning in the air. Finally, he was caught by an invisible force and thrown to the ground.

A wet yin qi sprayed behind my neck, and I obviously felt that a few sharp teeth were only one centimeter away from my skin, and the hair on my neck stood up, like a big boy in puberty when he got up in the morning.

Put a hairy paw on your shoulder. In the claws, a few sharp claws vaguely appeared to hook up my T-shirt.

I stood still and my whole body was stiff. Damn Xiaoji, he hasn't come out yet. It seems that the immortals are really serious and unreliable.

There is silver bell-like laughter behind, NND, which is Miao Ruyun's laughter.

I wiped the cold sweat on my head and didn't play like this. He turned his head, but his mouth was unwilling to show weakness: "Your uncle!"

"Your uncle!" Miao Ruyun spit out her tongue behind her back, and there was no color on her face.

Why are you so familiar with it? I seem to have heard this somewhere. I patted my forehead and remembered it. I said why when I buy chewing gum, I always think of a woman talking to me about your Yida.

As soon as I entered this small room, the cold was like a robber, grabbing me and began to launch an all-round attack on me from all aspects of my body.

I walked tremblingly in it. It suddenly occurred to me that I was actually a confused boy. Look, I stamped my feet now: "Stand up unconvincedly." No one dares to breathe - they are all afraid that I will be too scared.

Miao Ruyun stabbed me in the back and startled me: "If you have something to say in advance, don't do it first. Be careful!"

"What should we do?" Miao Ruyun asked me.

This problem puzzled me. Although I knew to find a male corpse and a middle-aged male corpse, Miao Renfeng repeatedly told Andy Lau to find a middle-aged male corpse that envied Liang Chaowei, but I was really at a loss.

After careful consideration of the binary method, bubble method and other arrangement methods, I finally came up with a high-tech method - let's throw shoes.

As my pair of black Nike slippers landed, we also had a goal, right in the freezer on our left. With the squeaky sound, the freezer opened, and the body of a young girl appeared in front of him. Miao Ruyun was very disappointed and disappointed with my high-tech methods. I was very gratified because the female corpse was undressed. It seems that my slippers can still understand what I mean. If it was the body of the old lady, I would be even more disappointed.

After Miao Ruyun and I pulled out a few freezers, Miao Ruyun's high-tech methods changed from disappointment to despair, but I found that the freezer should be oiled. Or these oils are eaten by those officials.

Miao Ruyun stood still without saying anything, but looked at me angrily. I know that she is disappointed in me now.

There's nothing I can do. I shake the jade pendant: "Xiaoji, Xiaoji."

A white light flashed from the jade pendant, and Xiaoji appeared in front of us: "I haven't come out for several chapters. Zhang Deshuai, you are so cruel."

"You colored dog, don't talk nonsense. If you are crooked again, I'll ask Mu Hongzi to write about your hiccups, blowing the lamp and drawing wax." I scared Xiaoji and then told Xiaoji about our current predicament.

Xiaoji tilted his head, thought for a long time, and told us that he didn't know. Then, a white light disappeared. As I said, immortals are not reliable.

At the moment Xiaoji disappeared, I seemed to see a crack in the freezer. Is this God's instruction?

I opened the freezer and saw a middle-aged man lying quietly in it. He closed his eyes peacefully, as if he were sleeping soundly. It's really a waste of time throwing shoes. That shit doesn't need paper.

"Do you think he looks like a sloppy ghost?" Miao Ruyun came up and looked at the body and said. Women always look at the surface when they look at things; not like men, they always look at the inner beauty of women - the beauty in the bra.

"It's really similar. Hurry up and work now." As I said, I took out a charm from my right pocket and put it on the male corpse.

As soon as the charm was posted, the male corpse stood up. It seems that old Cao is right.

Before going out, I asked Mr. Cao to draw two charms. One is a corpse-moving charm. Everyone knows that as soon as you paste it, the body jumps like pressing a spring; the other is an invisible charm, that is, no one can see you after pasting it.

However, in view of the previous performance of old man Cao, I asked him to check it carefully after painting to make sure that the painting was right, and it was painted with cinnabar instead of his saliva before he safely put these two symbols in his left and right pockets. Because I don't know which one is the corpse talisman and which one is the invisible one. In case I use it wrong, I will find someone to cry.

It's just that I forgot that the male body was in the freezer. At this stop, he heard a "c click" and the freezer was trampled by him.

I quickly took out the bell my uncle left for me and shook it in front of the male corpse, and the male corpse raised his hands flat and jumped behind me. It looks like a zombie.

"Who's in it?" At this time, I heard a shout at the door. However, the voice trembled a little. Then, the light of a flashlight shone over.

I hurriedly took out the invisible charm from my left pocket and put it on my body, hoping that Mr. Cao would really check it well.

Miao Ruyun was even more amazing and said, "You can't see me, you can't see me." Then, I really saw that there was only a mass of air left in the place where Miao Ruyun stood, and the light of the flashlight passed smoothly through the air without any obstruction. It gives me a feeling that Miao Ruyun may just be one of my dreams.

Soon, the light was fixed on the corpse of the middle-aged man.

I saw Miao Ruyun turn into a mass of air, and the brace (harmonious) muscles couldn't help tightening. Her body shuddered, and the bell in her hand shook.

I saw the man's corpse raise his hand flat and jump up without even bending his knees. Then, he hit me straight.

I suddenly felt a great force coming from behind, and then a cold feeling clung to me. That day, I met a shameless feeling, and I shivered again. Then, there was another collision. This time, it hit me lightly.

The light shook twice and began to fall in a straight line. I heard a bang, and then I saw the light rolling on the ground a few times and didn't move.

I hurriedly walked out of the door, and behind me was still the jumping male corpse. At the door, I saw a man about 60 years old lying on the ground with water stains on the ground.

This evening may have changed his 60-year outlook on life and the world. I bowed to him and said, "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to." Maybe he will quit this job tomorrow, and how difficult it is to find it now.

Miao Ruyun whispered beside him, "Let's go."

I took the male corpse to the van outside the funeral home. I borrowed Kong Ergou's van for tonight's plan.

If you ask me if I have a driver's license, there must be, but the photos and names above are Kong Ergou, not me.

There is indeed something wrong with how to get the male body into the car. Let him jump in directly. The car is too short and his AI is not high enough. He just jumps around the door, but he can't get up. This method doesn't work.

I looked at Miao Ruyun: "Will you move a lot and move him directly into the car? Just like in the magic."

"If I could, what would I do? Just steal the bank." Miao Ruyun said coldly.

At the critical moment, monsters can't count on it.

Finally, I removed the corpse from the male corpse and laboriously carried the male corpse into the car. No wonder people say it's dead. Really, this body doesn't look fat. I used all my milk strength to barely let him lie in the back seat.

Now it's finally done, and now I'm going back home. When I got in the car, I threw two charms in front of the windshield. As soon as I started the car, I spewed out black smoke and left...

If people are unlucky, they can fart to their heels and drink cold water.

On the way back, my car was stopped by the traffic patrol.

A traffic patrol came up and knocked on the window: "Driver's license."

I have a driver's license, but the name above is Kong Ergou, and the photo is also Kong Ergou. How smart I am. While rummaging through the driver's license in the driver's seat, I quietly stuffed a few red bills into the driver's license. At this time, I obviously felt that the traffic patrolman's eyes crossed the waves of me staring at Miao Ruyun.

Actually, I'm not afraid that he will investigate me. I'm afraid that the traffic patrol police will look at the back of my carriage. Don't forget that there is a guy lying there. And this guy was found, not to mention me, even if my father's surname is Li Shuangjiang, he can't deal with it.

The traffic patrol officer opened the driver's license, looked carefully, and said, "Ha! He is quite handsome."

"Where, where, it grows casually." I said with a smile.

"Cre down and do another alcohol test. This is free." Speaking of free, the traffic patrolman aggravated his tone and gave me his driver's license.

I got a light driver's license. This son of a bitch, the money is bought candy for my son. I thought to myself.

Although Ah Q thought about it again, he still grinded my back alveolar teeth. This account was recorded on Miao Renfeng's head and asked to double it back. Thinking of this, my ups and downs calmed down.

At this time, a guy standing against the tree began to shake, and then he held the tree and began to spit. The traffic patrol officers began to be busy. They grabbed the guy and began to let him blow into the pipe.

As a result, the guy was surrounded by a group of traffic patrolmen like an emperor. Pull him over and ask him to identify which car is his. The guy took the car key and began to try, but several of them were not. Finally, the guy remembered. He shouted, "I knew I was going to drink tonight. I didn't drive out. I took a taxi."

The traffic patrolman was stunned, and an elderly man stood up: "You didn't drive. What are you doing standing by the tree?"

"I'll get out of the car to watch the fun, no! If you have the ability, you can arrest me. Come and arrest me!" The drunk began to spill.

This is the end of a farce.

I was about to get on the car when I just opened the door. At this time, I heard the traffic patrolman behind him shouting, "What is the back seat of the car?"

It's broken. This guy is going to be found. I heard a "buzz" in my head, and sweat immediately came out of where they should have come out.

Miao Ruyun is really worthy of Miao Ruyun. She picked up two charms and threw them on the body.

I heard a "dong" in the car. Needless to say, the dead body stood up, but the car was not high enough to hit the roof.

"What's the sound?" The lights of the traffic patrol were searching carefully in the van.

Fortunately, I reacted quickly and pointed to Miao Ruyun: "She farted." I saw Miao Ruyun staring at me fiercely. If my eyes could kill people, I would have been delayed by Miao Ruyun now.

The traffic patrol police looked at me doubtfully and didn't know why. Finally, I shook my head and turned off the flashlight. Just as I was about to turn around, I heard another "dong" from the car, and I saw the car shaking. This time, the dead body should have been stuck in the car.

"She put another one. Today, she ate half a catty of fried soybeans and drank another bottle of mineral water. I came to the traffic patrol. At this time, Miao Ruyun's nose was so angry that she moved. I scratched the roof of the car.

I'm sure there will be no breakfast tomorrow morning.

The account of repairing the car is still Miao Renfeng's.

The traffic patrol officer looked into the car again and couldn't see anything before leaving. When he turned around, I saw him secretly covering his mouth.