Chapter 133 Tips
Except for Li Bai, he didn't dare to sue the author, because he had a little braid in the hands of the author.
The author loves to catch people's braids. If you catch them, you will win, and if you catch them, you will be useful. It can be said that you have tried many times and won every battle. Therefore, catching people's braids has become the author's first hobby. Bai Juyi's little braid was caught by the author, hehehe, it's really happy to say.
Bai Juyi, surnamed Bai, surnamed Juyi, has several brothers. The eldest brother, is Bai Yiyi, who is good at eating for free. He is the first gourmet in the Tang Dynasty. His position is the director of the Food Industry Approval Office in the Tang Dynasty; the second brother, Bai Nayi, is a staff member of the industrial and commercial department of the Tang Dynasty; the third brother is Bai Yiyi, who is from the Qinglou Industry Supervision Committee of the Tang Dynasty. President; Bai Juyi ranked fourth. According to his name, in fact, the most appropriate position should be the minister of the Ministry of Housing and Construction in the Tang Dynasty, but he failed to live up to the name his parents gave him. He did not mix in the civil service of the Ministry of Construction, so he had to develop in other organs, so Bai Juyi's desire to live for nothing is difficult to fulfill. Now, no matter how depressed he is, no matter how depressed he becomes a poet.
Not to mention how he became a poet, just talk about the little braids that he was firmly grasped by the author.
This little braid is the world-famous ** poem " Pipa Xing" written by Mr. Bai. In this ** poem, Bai Juyi's ugly face is exposed to the world. If you don't believe it, please listen to the author's story slowly.
In this poem, Bai Juyi recorded: One night, he and a group of fox friends and dog friends drove a flower boat to drink and have fun. There was no accompaniment music, and he could not sing karaoke. The wine was very unpleasant. Everyone was extremely depressed and was about to say goodbye - "Drunken and happy farewell", suddenly he heard another boat on the river playing the pipa. Everyone suddenly came to the spirit. With the sound of music, they were immediately more energetic. It was good to have a good appetite, and it was delicious to eat, so "Move the boat close to invite each other, add wine back to the light to reopen the banquet."
After the bricklayer's argument - the "bricks" here is a famous brick-making master in modern China. There is no way to verify the name. The red bricks made by him are of high quality, first-class quality, and the implementation of three guarantees are well-known all over the world. There is an idiom called red and brick, that is, everyone praises the red bricks he made. In addition to being good at making bricks, this bricklayer also likes to study history. The poem Pipa Xing is actually the conclusion of ** poetry, that is, it is verified by this bricklayer. After verifying this scientific research result, the bricklayer transferred the result to the author at the price of three pancakes, so based on this, the author caught Bai Juyi's little braids. Although it cost a huge cost, it is also worth the money, which can be called a cost-effective deal.
The expert's conclusion is that Bai Juyi and other porn-hunting parties pretend to love music here, but in fact they can pick up girls.
The bricklayer argued that in the middle of the night, several men drank bitterly and sadly, and the drunken eyes were hazy moon was also hazy and the birds were also hazy. "Birds are also hazy" means that several people urinated after drinking, stood together next to the side of the boat and urinated in the river. Although they were not far apart, because of the fog, they connected each other's The lower/body can't see clearly, so it's called "birds are also hazy". This shows that at that time, the river was foggy, and it was quiet in the dead of night. Bai Juyi and other people who drank too much wine, and they would definitely start a cold. Everyone had a chill, so they shivered at the same time when they finished their urine. In the cold - translated into modern words, it is chilling. Suddenly, at this time, the river came the sound of playing the pipa sound of "boom - bang - wow, my mother", which is very strange. In this situation, as long as you have seen the ghost film, the first reaction must be: the ghost is coming! The normal behavior of normal people must be to run for their lives. They run away. The speed must be faster than the 100-meter champion Bolt. Considering that several people were on the boat at that time, they could not take the land road if they fled for their lives. The only choice was for a fierce man to plunge into the water and swim to the shore at the fastest speed in all kinds of swimming postures and at his ability. There is no need to think about it. The speed of swimming is bound to surpass the eight Olympic gold medals. But these people did not run away. On the contrary, they were "moving the ship and inviting each other to meet each other, adding wine and returning to the lamp to the banquet." Be brave and know the difficulties. This shows two points. First, these people really drink too much and have forgotten to be afraid. Second, they are eager to pick up girls. Even female ghosts are not afraid. In line with the principle of "death under peonies, ghosts are also romantic", they strive for the spirit of "being willing to cut off the whole body and dare to pull the emperor down", with "bigger" The pursuit of "longer and stronger" moved the boat to pick up girls.
An official asked, this bricklayer's words are bad. Bai Juyi and others just heard the sound of playing the pipa, but did not hear the female voice accompanying the song. How did they know that the person who plays the pipa must be women? If you are not sure whether the player is a man or a woman, and you hear the sound of the pipa, it means that Bai Juyi and others are really lovers of music. The purpose of "moving the boat is close to invite each other" is to appreciate pure music, not to pick up girls.
However, the bricklayers have been prepared for this question for a few years. A few years ago, they left a kit for the author and gave it to the author: "My lord, when you publicize my research results, that is, 'Bai Juyi is a true pick-up party for girls', there will definitely be different voices and opinions. If so, please open this bag, and there are authoritative answers to different opinions in the kit. At that time, you can open this kit and solve all the difficult problems.
Thinking of this, the author couldn't help admiring the bricklayer's material. He said that he could accurately predict today's situation a few years ago, which was also a magic trick. In his heart, he admired the bricklayer, so he respectfully took out the kit given by the bricklayer, but saw that the kit was a white wax pill with the size of a shot put. The surface is smooth and does not show a gap. I don't know how to open it. I thought that the small wax pills can be crushed by hand. It seems that this kind of big wax pills can only be crushed with my feet, so I threw the brocade on the ground with all my strength. I stamped it with my feet for a long time without stamping it. I had no choice but to pull out the kitchen knife I carried with me, "hey hey ha ha" to face. The kit was cut for three hours, but the kit was still motionless. Some onlookers saw that the author could do nothing about the kit. They felt pity and lent a submachine gun to the author. The author smiled gratefully, took the submachine gun, and shot at the kit for half a day. The barrel of the gun was red and smoking, and the kit was still intact as before. Everyone and the author were stunned and at a loss when they saw this scene.
In fact, just now, when the author was shooting at the brocade bag with a submachine gun, the sound of the submachine gun was not just a simple "tattering" sound, but "tattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering, dattering. This kind of dense sweeping sound, but in order to save space and give back to the readers, the author gave up his love and took the long history and could better reflect the actual situation at that time. The intensive shooting sound is simplified to the "dada-dada" shooting sound, which has suffered huge economic losses, but for the sake of social benefits, what is it like to give up this huge economic benefit? From this tiny detail, the author showed his flawless noble character to the audience, and once again proved that he is a person with great sense of social responsibility, a noble person, a person in capital letters, a person who is out of low-level interest, and a person who will never cheat words.
Although the author is a person with a strong sense of social responsibility, a noble person, a capitalized person, a person who is divorced from low-level interests, and a person who will never cheat the number of words, but he is also a person who has nothing to do with the tips. If this kit is If you don't open it, the plot of this book can't go on. What should we do?
But there is true feelings in the world. The enthusiastic people onlookers saw that the author were so anxious that they scratched their ears and cheeks. They all showed a gratified smile. It was incumbent on them to come forward with knives. What's more, even full of knives in their buttocks. After they came forward, they took out the family passed down one after another. Rocket launchers, cruise missiles, atomic bombs, hydrogen bombs, biological weapons, and chemical weapons launched waves of ruthless attacks on this kit.
But when I see that this wax pill-shaped kit is at your wind and waves, I call myself to sleep. People say that the gold and stone are open, but this kit is the atomic bomb, and it still does not open. It can be seen that it has a tenacious and perseverance like the Chinese people.
The author wanted to cry without tears. He said that the jade tree of this book is in the wind until now, but he didn't expect it to be destroyed on an inconspicuous kit. If this kit can't be opened, the bricklayer's note can't be taken out, and it can't answer the audience's questions. The plot of this book can't go on. Does this book stop abruptly?
The author is unwilling! But what's the use of being unwilling? If you don't open the tips, the story won't progress. What else can we do but stop abruptly?
After thinking about it, the author had no choice but to cry. He was about to type the words "The book can't progress because the kit can't be opened. At the end of the play, goodbye, the crew will be disbanded, and there will be a later time." However, he saw a peddler-like person coming forward and said, "Wait a minute, I'll try."