Chapter 17 Tell him who I am
----How far is it? Modern people call it the horizon, while the ancients call it Tianya. ( By independent Qingwei)
This sentence is a distant memory. The first time I saw it, I was attracted by it. I was deeply attracted, inexplicably attracted, and I couldn't extricate myself. You can't understand how surprising it is to find such a sentence that can resonate with your heart in the dense words pile of thousands of sentences covering the page! I don't want to call such an unexpected encounter a coincidence. When I meet the sound of the heart, I would rather call it "excess". Maybe it's stupid, but I'm willing to do it. This sentence is so beautiful that it makes me read it over and over again without getting bored. It is so beautiful that I have a faint mement every time I read it, and the faint pain. Painful? Why does it hurt? It hurts for the gorgeous cruelty contained in the beautiful and sad sentence, for the eternal gap that can't be expected, and it hurts for the helplessness of leaving and not knowing when to get together again...
There is too much helplessness in life. You can't force it or change it. Fate is too harsh. Any dissatisfied resistance from you will only lead to the trajectory that it has already preset for you, and when you are exhausted and gasp, do you see it? It is like a proud demon, sneering at your ignorance and childishness. Everything is in vain, the process may be long or short, but the result is still the same. The terrible thing is that you can never predict how fate is set, because it is unknown that any of your resistance caused by fear of changing your fate or unwillingness can be attributed to fate. This is fate, a powerless fate that makes people feel powerless. You have changed, is it fate, you can't change, or fate. Fate will not let you know which way you should go, but every choice you choose to point to is a fate that has been decided.
What a perfect hypocrite, a lot of impeccable excuses. I once rejected the power of fate but felt weak, but today, at this moment, I want this perfect excuse to put a gorgeous coat on my selfishness.
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The ancient road of the setting sun, fragrant grass in the sky, the evening wind blowing the willows, and the bleakness is boundless.
County forest
The water stared quietly at the woman in crimmed standing in front of the tree in front of him. His eyes were soft. Once upon a time, he also stared at her like this.
The afterglow of the sunset is scattered on her body, slightly thin, and her whole body is shrouded in a layer of sacred golden light, as if a little closeness is blasphemous. She is so beautiful, beautiful as a fairy who does not eat the fireworks of the world, unparalleled.
Clear and shallow, silent and indifferent, slightly raised head, forming a beautiful arc in the neck, staring at the slightly yellowed leaf on the treetops for a moment, as if looking at another time and space through the leaves...
Xi Xinmiao told a secret like a bystander, a secret she had never disclosed. She knows that something is destined to change after today.
She breathed a gentle sigh of relief, and her mood didn't seem to be as heavy as it was just now. She carried the burden for a long time, and now it was suddenly released, and she was at a loss.
He was slightly surprised but still calm blue eyes, and said a little relaxedly, "Do you understand? I come from another world, because of an accident that crossed into the body of Miss Xi's second family. The difference between that world and this world is not only time, but also space. And I am He Qiong, a He Qiong with the soul of the 21st century. Moreover, I have been looking for a way to go back. Therefore, I won't have any bond with the people here. So--"
"So," he calmly picked up her words, but he didn't know that every word spit out of his mouth was like a sharp knife, and he poulted it fiercely in his heart. "If you go back, I will never find you. That is to say, even if we stand on the same land with different time and different space, I will never touch you, right? The whole body seems to be pumped out. The afterglow infected the lake blue eyes, and the hazy beauty turned out to be dull.
For the first time, the water cold felt deeply weak, and he couldn't beat this powerlessness! I can't believe that I have such a deep understanding of the meaning of these four words today, and the price is too high. It's so big that he can't bear it.
For the first time, he was so scared that he hugged the petite woman in front of him tightly. The calmness of the forced installation collapsed at this time.
She did not struggle, but let him hold him, but did not hug him back. Compared with his excitement, she looked much more plain, although it was the first time she had seen such a vulnerable side of him, although his fear and fragility came from her... ········
Han, do you know that there are no fairy tales in the world. Even if there are, they don't belong to you, let alone me. The innocence is close to the fantasy fairy tale, which is too ridiculous.
Your "Tianya" and my "horizome" are actually not different. What is terrible is "far away". The vague concept carries eternal care and thoughts. Because of this, I feel disgusted, "I'm going to a far away place, far away." More perfunctory answers! It's very irresponsible, isn't it?
"Tianya" is more decisive than "far away" and can cut off a person's hope, because only decisiveness can save it. The end of the sky, the horn of the sea, is a futility that makes people understand that no matter how hard you put in it, you can't save it. At the beginning, you may chase and follow, but slowly, you will be tired. Even with you, your eager heart will cool down and finally calm down. In the end, you will be relieved. How nice!
However, this selfish woman doesn't want to do this! Even if you choose to leave, you have to grab the heart that you have been following, but throw you an illusory "far away". Let you tirelessly catch up with the line that can't be grasped far away in the sky and sea every day. Every day, you are chasing, but every day, that line has never approached you. The distance between you will never be shortened. You won't give up chasing. You know you won't, and she must know. Otherwise, her tricks can't be achieved! The morning sun rising on the horizon every day, the afterglow in the sky is incredibly beautiful. You are happy and gratified to see such a dreamy scene, but, do you know? This is the mirage that the woman left you. The dreamy beauty confuses you, even if it is visible but untouchable nothingness.
She not only cut off your hopes, but also put all your attention on her, making you suffer alone and leave without concern. Two birds with one stone, what a good abacus!
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"So, Han, give up. There will be no result." Harden your heart and silently persuade. She is a cruel woman. She has always known, but she also has her own persistence, and she is not going to let go. So, please indulge her again.
"Tell me, how to give up? Do you think I haven't tried it? But how to give up the feelings that have been deeply rooted in the bone marrow? Unless, all the blood on my body is dried and re-injected; unless, time flows back so that I have never met you; unless, there is no such person in the world.
His head was buried deep in her neck, feeling the true touch of the person in his arms at this moment. The hot air spit out on her neck, but he could not warm the man's rock-solid heart.
Words, plain, pale, but stubborn.
Heart, a sudden trembling, three "unless" have said your determination. What else can she say?
He forcibly pulled himself out of his arms, the cold fabric scratched the palm of his hand, and there was a knife-like pain in his heart. He resolutely turned his back to him, took a deep breath and left.
"Life will meet a lot of people, a lot of things, just the scenery along the way. There is no need to keep it, no need to be deliberate. Life is a ferry that will eventually be deserted, and even we ourselves are passers-by. And so do I. Forget it, forget it all. Although I have happened to walk through your life, I am just a background in your world, like the sunset and the spring path flying flowers. Thinking of the description of a writer by chance in modern times, the impact of the soul in a moment was so strong. Inexplicably, my heart was slightly sore, and there was a bitter smile at the corners of her mouth. Unexpectedly, in ancient times, she would use her words to reject everything about him. Perfect cruelty: He Joan, you did a good job!
"Heart, do you know that you are really cruel and selfish? Just like you're indifferent doesn't mean I don't either. You are not me. How do you know that you are my guest or background? If I had told you that your existence in my heart would have been beyond everything I could or even control!"
Looking at the person who is getting farther and farther away, he opens his mouth in a hurry, and his heart is full of bitterness. All arrogant, noble and noble... It all disappeared in front of her. Who can not feel sorry for this situation?
"Then forget it. Life is too short, have fun in time, and forgetting is a lesson that must be learned. Time is the best healing medicine. It will dilute everything, including the feelings you are obsessed with now. When you look back at this matter, maybe even you will feel that what you have been insisting on is so insignificant.
She pretended to make her tone irrelevant, but why is the scenery in front of her getting more and more blurred?
"Insignificant? Xiner, is this your final conclusion?
He resisted the choking in his throat, "Yes." It's nothing. It's really nothing. She's not wrong and won't do anything wrong...
There was no sound behind her. She stepped up her step and had to go out...