Long-term Jedi meets the weak crown

Women say that tradition is the succession of the family, and men say that tradition is three wives and four concubines. - Zhang Deshuai's quotation

Junior high school taught me to do housework - secretly washing underwear, and high school taught me a lifelong skill - masturbate (harmonious) tube. I often remember that when I was in high school, a group of people lined up in the most remote part of the school, competing (harmonious) management. As a result, Xiaobin won every time, and he kept our record - three seconds to finish. But now, I feel pessimistic about his wife. After a competition, Xiaoqiang stretched out his slender fingers and said quietly, "My parents gave me a pair of hands playing the piano, but I used him to fly the (harmonious) machine." Fortunately, Xiaoqiang just came to masturbate (harmonious) instead of subconscious movements.

The strong hormones in high school made me miss Xiaofang strongly. Although Xiaofang and I are not in the same school, the distance does not hinder the hot love between us. As long as I have time, I will take the bus to Xiaofang's school to see her. At that time, love was a bus. It was me on this side of the station and Xiaofang on the other side of the station.

Because Xiaofang's school is very strictly managed and completely closed, Xiaofang has to climb over the wall every time we go on a date. This always makes me feel some unrighteous. Because I don't like women with red apricots coming out of the wall, but at the same time, I can't live without Xiaofang, which makes me very contradictory.

However, I haven't been stuck in this conflict for long. Xiaofang helped me solve the conflict.

That day, Xiaofang did not get out of the wall, but told me behind the fence door: "Shandsome, let's break up!" It turned out that Xiaofang met a man and soon had sex with that man.

The breakup with Xiaofang made me understand that a man will never forget his first love; a woman will never forget her **. A man will never forget the first woman who brings him happiness; a woman will never forget the first man who brings him pleasure.

The end of Xiaofang's relationship made my life very bleak. During that time, I learned Takakura's depression, I learned Van Gogh's shouting, and most importantly, I learned to talk about QQ.

On QQ, my nickname is "a drowned fish". This fish was soon caught by a cute little cat who loves fish.

Behind our fiery and ambiguous words, I know that this cat is very close to me and my fish, which is closer than me and Xiaofang. Finally, we couldn't help missing each other and decided to meet, talk about life and ideals.

It was a sunny afternoon. I stood by the fountain in the square with a rolled up newspaper in my hand, waiting for a girl in red in green trousers.

At the moment when the fountain erupted, a woman appeared in front of me under the hazy water mist. Red and green matching, quite festive. What's more festive is that she is not a girl, but an aunt as familiar as a winter persimmon.

In the future, the "fish-loving cat" has been pestering me. In QQ, she looked at me as usual.

"My dear little fish, time can't stop me from missing you, and distance can't isolate my love for you." Yes, your son and I are in the same class.

"My dear little fish, you know I have been waiting for you for many years. I'm divorced for you. Yes, you have been divorced for several years, and I have only known you for two days. But she told me that it was a woman's intuition, and her mother's (harmonious) criticism.

Later, I don't know what happened, but her son knew about this matter. He insisted on coming to beat me and saying that I took advantage of his (harmonious) mother. I don't know whether I took advantage of him or his (harmonious) mother.

My online love is buried in the fountain like this. Only when I pass by the square will I remember that we also had a flying era.

After the end of online dating, I was very depressed. I live in fear every day, afraid that she will come to me and her son will come to me.

On a rainy afternoon, Xiaohua blocked me on the way home from school and said that she liked me.

Xiaohua actually has many advantages, that is, that face looks like a vibrating screen at a glance. It's better to take a closer look. Therefore, she has always been a love poor family in our school.

Looking at Xiaohua's vibrating face, I refused her: "Xiaohua, you are a good girl. I'm just a stupid boy. We are not suitable."

"But I will always love you." Xiaohua said without giving up.

"Forgetting time is forever."

"I can let you experience the pleasure of love." Xiaohua lowered her head shyly, and later, her voice was as low as a mosquito hum.

Xiaohua's words suddenly ignited the fire in my heart. Isn't the place where love belongs to the bed, and doesn't Xiaohua's sentence mean that we can omit the process and go straight to the result? I was very moved. I licked my dry lips. Just as I was about to agree, Xiaohua raised her head, and the vibrating screen appeared in front of me again.

My eyes crossed Xiaohua's head and saw advertisements full of telephone poles. If I were really with Xiaohua, maybe I would be able to see myself standing in front of the pole looking for advertisements. Thinking of this, the fire in my chest naturally went out.

Seeing my reaction, Xiaohua knew that I had rejected her. She stared at me and asked, "Why on earth is this?"

"Xiaohua, you are the pearl by the Jialing River, and I am the woodcutter on Gele Mountain. Can you understand this?"

Xiaohua didn't say anything anymore and covered her face and ran away.

Xiaohua is a suffering household of love, so we call our love for Xiaohua charity. Although I like philanthropy, for example, I see blind people begging by the roadside, and often take out five yuan and put them in his bowl. Then I silently took five yuan from his bowl and walked to the bus stop in front of me. When I found a wallet on the road, I would silently wait for the owner in the Internet cafe for a long time without asking for anything in return, but I still had the heart to refuse Xiaohua's charity.

Xiaohua, if you look back 500 times in your previous life for a meeting in this life, then I must be blind in my previous life; Xiaohua, if you are a love bus, then I am a taxi driver; Xiaohua, if you are the flower leader in heaven and earth, then I am a civil servant who just came out of the palace...

My ruthless love blow finally made Xiaohua completely wake up. After everyone was familiar with each other, Xiaohua stood on the podium and applied for the laurel of our class. With only one sentence, she got the unatend of the boys in our class: "If you choose me as the class flower, you can praise your girlfriend in the future: 'You are more beautiful than our class flower back then!'"

Many years later, I saw the beautiful sister who was dancing and posing with an "S" figure in the video reminded me of Xiaohua at that time.

After refusing Xiaohua for a month, I found that I could not leave my deskmate, Xiaoxia. At first, I didn't feel about Xiaoxia, because Xiaoxia was so ordinary that I couldn't remember what she looked like until now.

However, Xiaoxia is very smelly - she has a serious fox odor. People who know her have a very pertinent comment on her: "If you don't see her, smell her first."

I just became a deskmate with Xiaoxia, and I can't stand the smell of her. The smell wrapped me tightly, and no matter how I hid in my seat, the smell was sniffy.

Especially when Xiaoxia and I were at the same table, it was summer. Because of sweating, and everyone wears less, the smell makes people dizzy. In order to compete with Xiaoxia's body odor, I always put wind oil essence in my drawer.

One day, something happened.

That day, I don't know what's going on. The bottom is very itchy. Maybe it was too hard during the game. Later, I was very stupid to apply some wind oil essence on it. As a result, the cup began. Throughout the class, I felt cool down there, and the refreshing feeling kept stimulating my brain, which made me painful.

I really can't help it. I keep rubbing my hands underneath, hoping to dissipate the smell of wind oil essence as soon as possible. Xiaoxia saw that my hands were dishonest and curiously looked over her head to see what was going on...

One day, Xiaoxia didn't come to class for some reason. On the day she didn't come to class, I was distracted and always felt as if something was missing.

The next day, as soon as Xiaoxia sat next to me, I realized that my life could not be separated from Xiaoxia. My nose has adapted to her body, and I would not be used to it without her.

In this way, Xiaoxia conquered me with her body.

Many years later, I realized the goodness of Xiaoxia. In the crowded bus, although my left hand is L'Oreal Paris, my right hand is Estee Lauder, my chest is BB cream, and my back is Dabao SOD honey. There is also a pancake or leek stuffing in front of me. When I saw the people around me covering their noses, both men and women, only I smiled. All this is floating clouds in front of Xiaoxia. The stinky girl was an angel with broken wings in her last life. She came to the world to squeeze the bus for you to work.

In the black July (now the black June), I fell into the charge of the college entrance examination and lost my hand with Peking University by 400 points. When I knew my grades, the teacher praised me and said, "You didn't get into Peking University this time. It can only be said that you and Peking University are lucky."

Whungry to go home or charge again, I foolishly chose the latter. Xiaoxia also fell in front of the college entrance examination, but she did not choose to repeat the exam. Later, I heard that Xiaoxia got married as soon as she got home and gave birth to a big fat boy the next year. Xiaoxia, I deeply bless you.

Xiaoxia, every woman is born an angel. Although you fell into the pit first, I never want to lose you. If the world is forever, then I hope you will be by my side that day; if the world is not forever, then I hope the world will stop under your arm;

Xiaoxia, you know, you not only occupy my heart, but you also occupy my nose. If I can give up one thing in exchange for another, I will give up my right hand (harmonious) tube in exchange for a day with you;

............