Chapter 23 It's time to consider the problem of sloppy people

Life is full of all kinds of helplessness. For example, you gently press the drainage button of the toilet and say helplessly to the children who are being slowly buffered: "Children, there is no toilet in heaven." For example, you tried your best to put the girl you have loved for a long time in **. When you gently take off her obstacles that hinder your pursuit of art, you see a white angel guarding her. For example, there is always someone in the world nagging in front of you, saying that you are not good here or there, which upsets you. Chaoqi and blood rushed to the top, but you didn't dare to rush up to get a big ear scraper to slap her, because she is your mother... - Zhang Deshuai's Quotations

Friday, July 29, 2011

Miao Ruyun and I are waiting for the repairman to repair her computer in the computer maintenance department. I chatted with Miao Ruyun, that is, about life and dreams. Just as I said that when I was a child, my dream was to be a policeman, and now I have basically realized the second half.

At this time, there was a ringing bell that I was familiar with. I took out the phone and saw that it was old Cao. A young man with literature and art like me knows what salute is before soldiers. I opened my mouth as a polite greeting: "Your uncle, old man Cao, what's the matter? Don't let me swipe your card for you?"

It turned out that today, old Cao wanted to find the netizen last night to give her good fortune-telling. Who would have thought that old Cao found himself participating in a standing competition. After three hours of exposure in the hot sun, he finally won, and his opponent did not appear at all. Hungry, he returned to my villa and found that there was no one in the house. He was now eagerly waiting for Miao Ruyun and me to go back to cook for him.

As soon as Miao Ruyun and I went back, we saw two eager guys: old Cao and sloppy ghosts. Old Cao is waiting for dinner, and the sloppy ghost is waiting for Zhang Dekai's return.

The remaining four ghosts were watching TV, and their big tongue covered their eyes with their hands. They obviously saw a crack in her hand. Her eyes hid behind the seams of their hands and stared at the screen, and kept shouting, "I'm scared to death, I'm scared to death." You are all ghosts, and you are afraid of ghosts.

Miao Ruyun twisted her buttocks into the kitchen and began to cook. I took the opportunity to throw the Juewei duck neck I bought halfway to Old Cao. Old Cao's eyes emitted a bright light, shook his cheeks, raised his back teeth, and tried his best to deal with the poor duck neck. The room heard him chewing bones. After eating, Mr. Cao stuffed his hands into his mouth one by one and sucked them carefully.

And the sloppy has been maintaining the posture of entering the room, staring at the door motionlessly, waiting for something.

"Did you bully him?" I'm worthy of a sloppy guy.

"No, no. He is waiting for him to come back. The little man replied.

"Oh!" After saying that, I sat on the sofa and watched TV with them.

A popular science program - Approaching the Truth was broadcast on TV. I have always been not interested in this kind of program. It's all about it. It's either sleepwalking or histility, or the electric pen is broken. However, the only praiseworthy thing is that he can arrange a popular science program into a thriller program, which is really creative.

I am very interested in the content of this issue. Because this issue is about the employees in our city's funeral home who saw zombies last night and introduced the zombie incident that made a lot of noise in our city in 1995.

The dim scenes, thrilling * music, and strange screams from nowhere from time to time make my hair stand on end. No wonder you can cover your eyes with your big tongue. These days, what horror movies do you watch? Horror movies are like comedies, and popular science programs are real horror movies.

After a while, the program invited several experts, including veterinary experts, quantum physics experts, psychologists and academicians of the Academy of Tobacco Engineering. Anyway, all those who could be invited were invited to discuss whether the zombie exists or does not exist. I heard a quantum physics expert say a lot about the "unpremeasurable principle", which was in the clouds; the academician of the Tobacco Engineering Academy talked about the level of tar content in tobacco and human mental problems. Finally, he said excitedly that after years of research, he finally reduced the tar content in tobacco.

I have always been interested in experts. These days, as long as something happens, there are always untuned experts who jump out, which is more accurate than the weather forecast. In fact, not everyone wants to be an expert. If you want to be an expert, you must have the following basic qualities: First, you must fully have a shameless spirit. You have to lie without drafting, and lie without breathing; secondly, you need to have a good ability to resist scolding. When others greet the women in your family very kindly and say they want to have a close relationship with them, you should not be a little angry; third, you should have the ability to distinguish between black and white. When everyone thinks it's right, you have to insist that it's wrong; fourth, and most importantly, you need to have a good health. If you want to become an expert, you must be old. I estimate that you must be at least 50 or 60 years old to be an expert. If you are only 30 years old, you will be embarrassed to say hello to others.

As a result of the

program, these experts agree that zombies do not exist. The reason why the employee said he saw the zombie was because he wanted to attract the attention of the leader and get a raise.

"What did that guy say? You don't understand the principle, and you still don't understand!" When the program was over, I said loudly on the sofa.

"That is the 'unprecable principle', which was proposed by Heisenberg in 1927. It is itself a Fourier transform..." He shamelessly interrupted on the side.

"You know a lot." After facing the faceless, I said angrily.

"Gethe mentioned that I am well-informed in the first part of Fausto." He said shamelessly and proudly.

"Damn-" After saying that, I grabbed the cushion on the sofa and threw it at the shameless. It's not that I don't like literature, but I don't like this self-righteous tone. Confucius can be popular because he has opened the world's earliest microblog - the Analects of Confucius; Kong has become a legend, because he only knows that there are four ways to write the word "back".

As soon as the cushion flew up, I heard a creak in the door and someone came in. It turned out that Zhang Dekai came back.

The sloppy ghost immediately flew up and hugged the person who came in. It can only be described in one sentence, which is "quiet as a virgin, moving like a crazy rabbit".

The sloppy ghost hugged Zhang Dekai tightly and said softly, "You're back. Do you know that people can't sleep during the day because they miss you. As long as you close your eyes, your eyes are full of your shadow. That tone was like an anxious young woman finally waiting for her husband to return.

I can't see that the sloppy ghost also has the qualification of GAY.

Zhang Dekai stood at the door helplessly, trying to push away the sloppy, but he didn't know how to push it away. He wanted to get out, but there was no way to stand straight at the door like that.

"C cousin, think of a way quickly." Zhang Dekai shouted at me.

At first, I didn't react. After a while, I realized that this guy was taking advantage of me. Who let you stand in the sloppy pit and don't shit? Find your own way. I sat on the sofa and gloated.

Zhang Dekai finally got rid of the entanglement of sloppy ghosts and sat on the sofa.

"Is it done?" I asked.

"It's finally all done. Not to mention, their skills are quite good. After saying that, Zhang Dekai threw a pile of documents on the table.

I flipped the certificate on the table, stroked the steel seal on the certificate and said, "Well, the technology is not bad. There are also steel marks, but why is it a little wet?

"Don't move that. He bit the steel seal with his teeth." Zhang Dekai snatched the certificate from my hand and said nervously while touching the wet steel seal.

Hearing him say this, I quickly wiped my hands on the sofa. Old Cao stretched out his head and looked at me happily. After having fun, he felt that there was still a piece of duck neck meat under his lips, stretched out his greasy tongue, brought the piece of meat back to his mouth, and chewed it tastefully.

"Did he give you a discount?" I asked Zhang Dekai with a little pride.

"Don't mention it. I said that you introduced him and asked him to give him a 20% discount, and the guy immediately readily agreed. Later, a person came to apply for a certificate. The guy said that in order to welcome the '81' Army Day, so now there is a 30% discount for applying for a certificate. I asked him to give me a 20% discount, and he told me, 'A great country should be based on honesty'. The 20% discount is 20% off. Zhang Dekai said angrily.

What a profiteer, and I also thought anly on the side.

Zhang Dekai paused and opened his mouth. Later, he told me that he wanted to discuss something with me. He figured it out today. Anyway, he had to stay with me for a while, so he decided to buy a bed. He saw a store moving out today. Now it's the last three days, and all the furniture is sold at a price. He chose a bed, which is not expensive. It's only 9999 yuan, and the bed will be moved tomorrow.

"There is no money." I thought about the bed board raised with bricks in my room and said angrily. Are you stupid? I believe it in the last three days of the store. These days, there is still a seat behind the conductor. This is my first time for a girl. We are losing money in state-owned enterprises. The police serve the people. The last three days of the store are on sale. We are just friends of the stars. I won't tell your parents about the teacher's matter. Let me briefly talk about the leader. You still Believe it.

"We have an agreement on this, and we agreed that I will offer food and accommodation here." Zhang Dekai said confidently.

Old Cao also nodded on the side, and his clothes were afraid that the world would not be messy.

"I only said that food and accommodation were included, but there was no mention of buying a bed in the agreement. You can buy a bed mat for 15 yuan and make do with the floor. It's good for you to sleep on the mat in summer. Besides, can I cover everything? In case you are full of thoughts (harmonious) desire, will I still conjure up a woman to make you happy? Zhang Dekai and I began to argue.

"I don't care, it was agreed at that time. Write clearly and clearly in black and white. Now it is a society under the rule of law. Don't deny it. Zhang Dekai made a pocket move, and I knew he was going to take out the contract we just signed last night.

"I really have no money. I have money. Can I live in a house of 200 yuan this month? My tone is obviously a little soft.

"What? You only have 200 a month, so why is my rent 200 a month? My head hurt and I saw Miao Ruyun standing behind me angrily. Banana, say it's bald.

"My rent is still 400. What a profiteer." Zhang Dekai jumped up.

"We signed the agreement, and it was written clearly in black and white." I coiled my legs on the sofa, buckled the mud on my feet, and smiled evilly, "If you don't, your rent will be 100 a month." After saying that, I pointed to Miao Ruyun. But there is a condition that you pay for him to buy the bed for me first, and I will pay you back when he gets his wife.

Miao Ruyun hummed and twisted her buttocks into the kitchen.

When Miao Ruyun entered the kitchen, I said to Zhang Dekai, "Your rent remains unchanged, and you will pay another 100 yuan a month."

"Why?" Zhang Dekai shouted loudly.

Buy a bed tomorrow. Otherwise, you will hit your floor."

Old Cao smiled on the side with an obscene look. I couldn't help but put my size 42 shoes on his size 38 face and rotate 180 degrees clockwise.

"If you want to live for a long time, 100 yuan a month; for short-term rent, 10 yuan a day, and the meal will be calculated separately. Also, remember to pay me back the money I swiped your card last time. I said viciously to Old Cao.

Old Cao immediately shut his mouth knowingly.

The whole meal process was a little strange, because the sloppy ghost has been staring at Zhang Dekai affectionately. It seems that Zhang Dekai's face can bloom.

After dinner, I volunteered to take on the responsibility of washing dishes. The most important ingredient is to please Miao Ruyun. Because I will lend her money tomorrow to buy Zhang Dekai a bed. In case she changes her mind, I will lose 100 yuan in vain, or 100 yuan in vain every month. As a qualified businessman, I can't let such a loss become a reality.

While washing the dishes in the kitchen, I whistled and pretended to be very happy. His grandmother's, which man is the sexiest time is to wash the dishes. It was definitely a strict wife who said this. However, if you go to your mother-in-law's house to please your current or future mother-in-law, this dishwashing is a good choice.

When I finished washing the dishes and came to the living room, I immediately felt that the atmosphere in the living room was strange. Rarely, old man Cao did not go to my room to find netizens for a video chat, but looked up at the ceiling to do a cloud computing and was thinking about something. Zhang Dekai sat on the sofa with a desperate expression. He must have a dead heart now, because the sloppy ghost is still staring at him with so affection, and his eyes are as gentle as water. Otherwise, Zhang Dekai, you will be a sloppy. I was anxious when I saw it at the door of the kitchen. Only Miao Ruyun was the most normal, with a tissue in front of her, leaning on the sofa to watch her "If You Are the One", and smiling heartlessly when she saw the happy place. Perhaps fantasizing that one day, she and his hero will drive hard on the flowery country road, accompanied by the music of MyHeartWillGoOn, which is very romantic.

In front of me, there stood a beautiful woman. She gently opened her red lips and cherry mouth and spit out a small lilac tongue, gently pried open my happy lips, and touched my teeth ** like water. As soon as my teeth cracked a crack, she drilled in with the wet and slippery. Then gradually nine shallow (harmonious) a deep tongue and lip sword deep and shallow saliva flying across the river and the sea... It's really a long French kiss with deep rules.

My eyes gently cracked through the road and saw Zhang Dekai standing in front of me without a god. His grandma's is bad for me. I haven't seen what that woman looks like. I only vaguely remember that she was very familiar with her eyebrows, whether it was Teacher Cang or Miao Ruyun. Yes, I was just about to make an earth-shaking love dream.

"Help me figure it out." Zhang Dekai grabbed my hand and said anxiously.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked Zhang Dekai in a daze while wiping the saliva from the corners of my mouth with my other hand.

After waking up a little, I saw Zhang Dekai standing behind Zhang Dekai, who was a sloppy ghost. Looking at me affectionately, I couldn't help wrapping the towel quilt around me. This trick is too scary. Is this the legendary staring at who is pregnant?

"You go back first. I'll figure it out." I said to Zhang Dekai.

It seems that we really need to consider the sloppy. Because the sloppy ghost stared at Zhang Dekai's eyes, not to mention that Zhang Dekai couldn't stand it, even the old man Cao, who had no image, wanted to vomit.